Few Reasons why I would not make a good movie critic

1.I go to Satyam for the popcorn.

2.My all time favorite movie is Jeans.

3.I did not like Avatar.

4.I'd prefer It's a wonderful life to The GodFather any day.

5.I am still smitten by James Stewart and not only managed to sit through but also liked(!) The man who knew too much.

And finally the top reason-Once upon a time,long long ago, I was a fan of Vijay,Action king Arjun and Jayam Ravi....

Until the next one,

Gaya:)

If only...

There are many instances in life when you came close to something that you have always wished would happen but missed by inches...Or again would have happened but not quite the way you had expected..If only they have gone the way they should have....

If only...

To everyone their first crush is special..Most of them would have forgotten it but to those who did not...

It might probably have been on a teacher who was nice to you and made you the "Class Leader"(It was the highest honor those days you know ;) ) or may be on your next door neighbor who always gave you a chocolate/who played with you...

But the first real crush you have probably must have been when you were about 11-14....

Every one of us did believe in filmi-romances at some point or another..To guys it was always saving the damsel in distress..And to girls it was obviously the meet-your-prince charming-and-fall-in-love-at-first-sight....Sadly,as you grow up you realize all this almost never happens..And looking back it always makes you smile...

That somersault your stomach did every time you caught sight of him/her...those long hours you stood waiting for him/her....those butterflies flying randomly here and there...The adrenaline rush everytime he/she comes near you...The thousands of words that want to rush out ,yet are chewed back and somehow momentarily your tongue seems to be glued down with Fevicol(Though you have no idea how it manages to unstick itself when he/she has passed you)

and all those nights that you were lying in your bed staring at your ceiling as though it would split wide open and he/she would enter right through the gap....

Now go stand right in front of the mirror and watch the corners of your mouth crack into a smile and then.....

...Go right back to some useful work...Enough reminiscing now! :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Villupuram Thaandi Varuvaaya?

He was ready to cross the skies for her.The very bat of her eyelid was a sign enough.But would she oblige?

Sounds like the tag line of a typical boy-meets-girl and they fall in love movie?All right,this is just corny shit..Yet again one mindless true love(!) story brought to you by one of the vetti-est persons in Chennai right now, who finds nothing better to do than stare at her system all day ..And Why?Just because it is there...(I must really be going crazy,right?)

Now,where were we?Ahh..yes...Boy-meets-girl...Our hero did meet our heroine yes...She did fall in love..But if only,she had..with him...

How long do we have to keep using X and Y?...Just plain frustrating right?Lets give them proper names...Hmmm...How about Akash and Nandhini?Sounds good?Right lets get a move on...

She was the kind of girl anyone would fall in love with.And when I say anyone,I stand by my statement.Anyone.The typical girl-next-door,yet,a pretty one too..The kind that you wished you lived near.

He was not bad either.The typical gregarious,jumpy,fun yet understanding kind he was(Mind you it was not overdone :) )

Reasons for calling this post Villupuram Thaandi Varuvaaya(Will you cross Villupuram for me?)

1)The similarities to Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya?(Will you cross the skies for me?)

*Akash's similarity to the protagonist Karthick.Namma hero is again forced into Engineering(To quote"Ennaku apovve theryum indha engineering lam velaiku aagadhunu"). His life's ambition is actually to cross the skies i.e, get his CPL and become a commercial pilot.Namma Karthick is from Namma Chennai..

*Nandhini's similarity to Jessie.The homely and sweet kind and yeah definitely confused as depicted in the movie

* The cheesy, corny dialogue exchanges between them.

2)Our Nandhini hails from Villupuram.Hence the name .Villupuram is a place in the interior of TamilNadu).And she did visit her Villupuram now and then...

Yet another typical college love story(Maybe I'll grow up someday but for now just let me be)

They did not fall in love at the first sight.There were no filmi dialogues or songs that played as they danced in the rain or around trees,yet the story is cheesy(atleast to those of us who are not very much the romantic kind)

The first time he saw her he felt the same things he had only read about or seen in movies.The kind of light hearted fluttery feeling which jerked him a few feet away from the ground,as though his body weight dropped a few kgs and lifted him up...He was almost instantly pulled back to reality when he heard his friend's voice next to him though it all seemed so far away now...It took him a couple of seconds to register the fact that he was the one being addressed..She seemed far away yet she seemed close enough too.He was puzzled as he tried his best to muster his concentration to listen to what his friend was saying.

Friend:So naa solitrunda maari...

Akash:Yes,machan,okay.

Friend:Okay va?Naa inum solliye mudikale..Kekariya illaya?

Akash:Kettutudhaanda irukken...

#Mind Voice#Talk about her..Talk about her..Talk about her..She is standing right in front of me..Talk about her...

Friend:So I think I like her da..

Akash:*concentration back on*Good for you da...*Trying to sound casual and pointing to her*Yaar machhan adhu?

Friend:Avala pathi dhaan ivlo neram solitrundhen..Avala dhan na love pannren.En figure macchaan.Propose panllam nu irukken...

Akash:#Horrified#Enna da sollre?

Friend:aama da..First day le irundu paathutruken.

Akash:Unakku set aagumnu nenaikriya?

Friend:Try panni dhan paapome..Friends encourage pannanaga so apdiye...

Akash:All the best da.

#Mind Voice#Enna Kodume sir Idhu?Vetti pasanga..Encouragement veraya?

A few days later-

The friend did propose and got turned down badly.Akash's hopes once again shot up.Some chance,some opening,something had to happen but alas.

Now Akash had a best friend.Lets call her ummm (oh what the heck?Return of the X) X...

Now our X was a very cute,patient,understanding type..and she had a nickname too..Love guru....Best at giving vetti-ideas and bulbu plans....

Akash and X were beshhhtuuu buddies...And as luck would have Akash's phone was under repair when one day...

Nandhini:Hey!Did you prepare for the test?

X:Edho...You?

Nandhini:Kodume only...Very bad.

X:Like Flunking level?Rock bottom?

Nandhini:Kinda..This is Akash's number right?

X:Erm..yeah..Why?

Nandhini:No..I called him yesterday but it was not reachable.

X:Oh.

Nandhini never called Akash again.

A year passed in which everyone came to know that Nandhini was in a very serious relationship(Everyone includes our Akash too) and again he had abandoned all hope when again....

Nandhini stopped attending classes.She became very irregular and in those rare occasions she was present also she was very distracted and very dull..

One day..

X:Oye!Extra pen hai?

Nandhini:*looking up* Whaat?

X:Pen..Pen..Extra pen...Hai tumhaare paas?

Nandhini:No..

X:What is up with you these days?You look like you wish that the ground would open up and swallow you these days.

Nandhini:I wish it did..

X:What is wrong with you?

Nandhini:Just some personal trouble..

X:Boyfriend trouble?Why fear when the love guru is here?

Nandhini:Its not like what you think..

X:You tell me what I should be thinking...

Nandhini:Well,its just that you know he is very paranoid..Always jealous,possessive...Keeps fighting with me always...I am so pissed..

X:Eh?So?Ditch him...

Nandhini:I cant do that..I've been in love with him for like 6 years.You know some days I even feel very suicidal..

X:#Horrified# Seriously get a grip man..Suicide eh?Thats just rubbish talk..Listen..Take my word and dump him...

Nandhini:*Sigh*You'll never understand

X:#Scornfully#Maybe I won't but I am not the one contemplating suicide here...

Almost a year passed since this conversation when one day...

Akash enters the class...Excited whispers...

Akash:Macchan,What's going on da?

Friends:Dont know da ..but something is wrong with Nandhini..

Akash:What?#Blood rising to cheeks#

Friend:Why are you this shocked da?

Akash:Nothing da..

That evening on the phone...

Akash:Hey what is wrong with Nandhini?

X:#Suspiciously#Why are you this concerned?

Akash:Classmate no...

X:oh...She attempted suicide...

Akash:#Gasping#Suicide eh?Why?

X:The nutcase boyfriend of hers dumped her..Thats why...

Akash:What a lame reason

X:Why ask me?Do I look like the one on the verge of death...

They did not see Nandhini until the year end.

The next year...

One very casual night time conversation...

10.40 pm

Akash:Ey...Whaddup?

X:Nothing much da..What you upto?

.

.

.

.

.

12.50

X:Yeah man these idiots are getting crazier by the day you know.

Akash:I know..Hey what do you think about Nandhini?

X:What is there to think about?She acted really stupid.If it were me I would have dumped him first..Bloody chauvinistic piece of crap he was...Deserves two slaps....

Akash:I don't mean this incident..Your general opinion you know?

X:Why are you this interested da?

Akash:Nothing ...Chumma I wanted to know

X:Erm Why are you acting strange all of a sudden?

Akash:Is it possible to get a straight answer out of you?

X:Provided you answer my questions...

Akash:You are so full of them.

X:I know :D

Akash:So?

X:So what?

Akash:What do you think of her?

X:Yeah yeah...She could have turned out well if not for that boyfriend of hers..They got back together now.

Akash:Oh

X:Why are you sighing?

Akash:I didnt.

X:You did..

Akash:Not important.

X:Eh?Whatever....

He was not ready to let anybody know.Not yet.Maybe somebody but definitely not now.He did not want to be ridiculed least of all by his best friend...

Few more months passed until in the September of 2009,

Akash:Oye!

X:Whaddup?

.

.

.

Akash:Listen what were discussing so seriously with Z during lunch?

X:Lunch eh?ummm errr I dont remember

Akash:You have the worst memory

X:I know :D

Akash:So completed you assignment?Get it to me tomorrow I want to copy it

X:Wait I am copying it from Z now only..

Akash:All right see you tomorrow.

X:Hey wait wait I think I remember.

Akash:Remember what?

X:Look who is talking about retention capacity.It is like coal calling the kettle black.Sarcasm Intended you know,in case you didnt get it.

Akash:I did get it.Dont try my patience.

X:All right All right..Just messing with you...Well seems that we would have to go through our class teacher everytime we want OD from hereon..*casually*and yeah also Nandhini broke up with that bloke yet again.

Akash:*sputters*What?

X:I know man.Sad.

Akash:Sad?What are you talking about?It is awesome.

X:What?We will never get OD again if it goes at this rate and given my record I am most likely to be debarred for lack of attendance.

Akash:Attendance?What are you talking about?

X:What were you talking about then?*Suspicion*

Akash:you know the other thing.

X:The other thing?

Akash:nandhini.

X:Oh that.Aeah What difference does it make da?In another two days she'll run back to him.

Akash:You think so?*Crestfallen*

X:Why does it bother you this much?

#A long pause#

X:Oye!There?

Akash:Because I like her.

X:like her as in?

Akash:I want to ask her out.

X:As in boy friend and girl friend?

Akash:Shabba...Tubelight...

X:Seri...Seri...But of all people why her?

Akash:Have I ever asked you that question?

X:Ermm sorry I didnt mean to be hypocritic.

Akash:Listen Can I ask you something?

X:What?

Akash:Can you help me?

X:What help?

Akash:I want to talk to her.I need a proper opening.

X:Give me sometime.Ill come up with an idea.

She did come up with an idea.A stupid idea.But surprisingly due to cupid and lady luck being jobless that particular day and in a particularly helpful mood things worked out in his favour.The idea clicked and they exchanged numbers.

What idea you ask?Very simple one.A mutual friend was made to call her and pretend as though Akash was near her and she asked Nandhini is she would like to talk to him.She did not object.They did talk.But the catch was that Akash was not anywhere near the mutual friend.What Nandhini never knew was that it was a conference call.

And then began the struggle.Once the introduction was over,Nandhini seemed very hesitant to talk.He felt like banging the phone on the wall half the time.All this effort going wasted.

Their conversations were filled with unspoken words.He so wanted to talk.He so wanted her to talk.There was no ice,it was an iceberg that had to be broken.

His days were spent in confusion and nights were spent in frustration.And so passed two months,until one day....

Akash:Hi...

Nandhini:*sob**sniff*hi..

Akash:What happened?

Nandhini:nothing..

Akash:Oh,come on..You can tell me..

Nandhini:Well I guess...I fought with him..

Akash:with who?

Nandhini:Yoou know himm...My boyfriend...

Akash:You mean you ex-boyfriend right?

Nandhini:Ex?no no Didnt I tell you?We are back together..

Akash: #Mind voice#Enna kodume Sir idhu.

Nandhini:What?

Akash:*Jerked back**Accusingly*No you didnt tell me..You never tell me things you know..

Nandhini:Sorry..

Akash:Thats okay...What does he want now?

Nandhini:Just the same..He is being paranoid again.

Akash:You know if you are not comfortable you should say so you know,break it off.Talk to him

Nandhini:Breaking up is not the solution.

Akash:Sometimes it is.*silently praying that she should be convinced*

Nandhini:Not always.Anyways Ill talk to him.Thanks for the advice.

She did talk to him and it put one major reverse gear which drove Akash up the wall.Yes,they got back together again.Akash abandoned all hopes,yet again.And as for therapy?He always had X.

Finally a new year dawned and he decided to let go of all this and decided to concentrate on something worthwhile when one encouragement booster arrived in the form of his friend/relative/whatever you call someone really close to you.

Now this friend was pretty hyperactive and believed that you'll never know what happens until you have done it.So go for it type aka Schrodinger's cat.Akash who was already on the verge of spilling the beans to her,occasionally held back by X,had reached his wits' end now.

He was yet again looking desperately for an opening to bring this up.He tried talking to her about her idea of love,ideal guy and other blah blah blahs but no,she would never hand it to him.Did she know and is she ignoring it purposefully or does she not understand at all?was the only question on his mind which was successfully driving him mad.

January slipped into February and along came Valentines day..What more an opening could he ask for?He mustered all the courage he had and finally decided to take the plunge.He dialled jher number slowly and put the receiver to his ears.One smooth female voice answered.

The subscriber you have called is busy.Please try again later.

Bhusssssssssss.His face deflated like a punctured tire.

He was not able to get in touch with her the whole day.So close,he thought.So close.

When the next day dawned he threw away all thoughts of ever telling her what was he was going through.He did not know if it was anger or frustration or disappointment or fear that overlapped him but then again he had made his decision.He was never going to call her again.That decided he leaped out of bed and put the past behind him.All was well for 2 days until ...

*Beep Beep*

Mom:Akash I think you're phone is ringing.

Akash:No ma just a message.

Mom:Check it na.Might be something important.

When he opened the message-

Nandhini:Hi I am sorry for not attending your call that day.Can you please call?.I am really upset and would like to talk to someone.please.

His hands automatically acted as though they were receiving orders from a distant voice.Yet it seemed as though the voice originated from his own brain.Seemed so distant yet so real and close.

As he dialed her number there were two voices that were crying the exact opposite.

Voice1:Common!Now is your chance..Act all nice..Maybe she'll fall for you.

Voice2:Oh..Dont listen to him.He means nothing but trouble...Think of what she has done so far.Dont embarass yourself.

Akash:Shut up both of you.

And she answered.

Akash:Hi..What happened?

Nandhini:Hi...Thanks for calling.Just wanted to talk to someone.

Akash:oh...tell me.

Nandhini:I was waiting that day for his call but he did not even give me a message.Sorry that I decided to show my frustration on you.

Akash:#losing his patience#

Oh so thats the reason is it not?When your pretty boyfriend turns his back on you I get the brunt..Else you are all happy with him and ignore me..Whats your deal?

Nandhini:But but...

Akash:DO NOT INTERRUPT ME.Understand?

Nandhini:*Meekly*Okay.

Akash:So I am somebody you call when you are pissed.I am not saying you should not.But dont use me like this.Either you ignore me or cry to me.What kind of relationship is this?

Nandhini:but thats what friends are supposed to be like right?

Akash:Not all the time.

Nandhini:Okay listen I am sorry.I had no idea that it would hurt you..I am really sorry...Please Please..Henceforth Ill try to be good..Are we good?

Akash:Eh whatever..

Nandhini:oh common..Smile na..please

Akash:*All smiles wonly :D* smiles.

Nandhini:now thats a good boy..

Akash:If you want to share something do that but lets have some fun too you know

Nandhini:Sure.so you know blah blah blah....

And on and on she went .Once started it was difficult to stop her.She told him about her childhood,likes,dislikes,friends,the on-off love story she had and slowly started recovering from her break up.Ofcourse it is needless to say that Akash talked her out of it.And people started noticing that something was going on between them.The lunch time conversations,gift exchanges and the class time chori-chori looks were a dead giveaway.Now the only question that remained was when he would pop the question.

May 22,2010

X:So how are things between you and Nandhini?

Akash:Couldn't ask for anything better.

X:So sema happy only you are?

Akash:No di..I havent asked her yet...

X:Asked her what?

Akash:To be my girlfriend.

X:so ask her...

Akash:Yeah but opening ?

X:enna chumma opening opening nu...? Go tell her da...

Akash:Yeah di...tonite is the night..

X:Good luck man :)

That night

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

May23 morning.

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

Afternoon

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

Evening

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:cha po...you text me after you have done it...

That night 2.43

Mobile message.X wakes up rubbing her eyes.

Akash:i did it I told her.

X:Eyy...super..What did she say?

Akash:She said she needed time

X:How much time?

Akash:That I didnt ask..

X:loosu..Seri Tell me when she replies.

Nandhini took her time..There were many times when she almost felt like this was a good idea and times when she felt this was a huge mistake because of her past experience.Times when she felt pressurized and times when she felt she did not want to make this decision.But fact remained that she had to give him an answer.When did not matter.What did.

Finally she made her decision.Right or wrong she was going to stick to it.She took her phone and fed in her answer and hit send.

At the other end,Akash was alerted to the receiving of a message by the tone.He looked at his mobile.

The screen said You have one new message.

He hit the open message button and gave a gasp.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

How the chappathis crumbled in front of 11 idlis.True Story.

IPL 2010-8 teams.60 matches.45 days.

It wouldn't exactly be fair on my part if I call this the victory of an underdog...The coveted cup has eluded Chennai for long and finally here we are celebrating the rightful win...It has been one of the most consistent teams making past the selection matches everytime and now lifting the cup..Let me not bore you with statistics but we'll take a small detour 12B(English:Sliding doors) shhtyle.......

What if they had sent Pollard out first?What if Sachin's hit had not been caught?What if Rayudu had stayed in his place and not lost his wicket for a measly run?What if their maiden over had earned them 10 runs?

If the above were true we'd be listening to the gloats of Mumbai-kar's and for the matter a lot others who would have said Idhu thernjadhudhane?Mumbai dhan top.Obviously they have to win. But truth is,there is no obviously in cricket.There has never been,there never will be...You'll never know when a bowler'll smash boundaries or a world-class batsman will get out for a duck....

Anyway given the fact that we,Chennai-ties have been pretty gloat-y about the whole affair..Time to reveal our modest side and show them though we won they didn't give up without a good fight....

Finally-Namma chennaiku whistle podu!

P.S-Here are few interesting texts/FB status updates that I came across yest/today-

Chennai ku whistle podu...Mumbai Kaadhu-mela podu....

Given that we won, should we drown/cremate the MI s?

(Vijay shtyle) Dei Point table first irukradha romba aada koodathu..Kadasila finals la win pannanam.Naanga panitom.Goli adalam,kabaddi adalam Aanavathla mattum aada koodadhu.

Men in yellow (though) subtle ,

Unarguably proved their mettle,

They played in style,

Conquering all the while!

"Pooriku venum paani,1man army dhoni.

lion irukkura idam den,namme singam hayden.

ammaku opposite naina,best fielder raina.

Veg la gethu kathiri,middle order gethu badri.

Song mix panna dj,shots mix panna vijay.

DTS sound na dolby,alrounder na albie.

Ingiku english ginger,batsman ku yaman bollinger.

Bike la best Ducati,spin la best jakati.

Namma spinner aswin,avan pottale namme win!

Adra whistle!"

Cheers to Chennai!

Idli-Sambhar guys all the way! :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

(Part II)A wedding.3 principle characters who received more importance than the bride and the groom ;).

Click Here to view Part I of the story

Where were we?Oh yeah! me holding my breath as I waited for my cousin's reply...

Me:So is he there?

Cousin:No...

Me:What? *crestfallen*

Cousin:Am kidding..Of course he is there...come fast...

Me:*gleefully*Am trying my best but the car won't go any faster...

Dad came back and there we started off to the mandapam again..Finally after what seemed like eternity we reached it.Only a flight of stairs were left between me and him and how I wished that instant that I could fly....

Anyway by the time we entered vradham was already over and there was me greeting all my relatives but stealing furtive glances to locate him.....My cousin came up to me and was all "Oh didnt you see him yet?"

#Burning smell#

Finally after shooting her few paavam-glances she pointed to a corner...And there he was all Pink and tall...

A million things rushed to my mind at the same instant and the first few stammer free words were

Me:Wow!We are wearing the same colour dress!

C:Eh? :O

Me:Look pink to pink!

C:Thu!Three months you wait and notice the dress color first..Waste di nee! And pink on a guy?You know we both are surprised but probably not in the same way...

Me:*Raised Eyebrow*

C:ok!Go talk to him

Me:How?

C:You already know him right?What could possibly happen?

Me:You a know a million things.Lemme give you a few examples

Scenario 1:

Me:Hi!Remember me?

Him:No

Bhusssss!!!

Scenario 2:

Me:Hi.Remember me?

Him:Yeah so?

Double Bhusss!!!

Scenario 3:

Me:Hi..Remember me?

him:yeah sure..Hey do you mind moving to your left.there's a really cute girl and you're blocking my view....

#Phat! Phat!!Heart cracks#

C:You're crazy..

Me:Okay I might have exaggerated on the last one seeing as there is absolutely no competition(Touch wood) but the others might be possible..

C:He seems nice...

Me:aeah!*Casual dismissing wave*

Mind voice:Hope he is!

Anyway this conversation and other work took up majority of the day and before we knew it was dusk and along with it came the jaanavaasam

Wedding

Day1-Evening Session-Jaanavaasam

The groom arrives in a procession(like the baarat,minus the elephant,horse and any other creature that looks half-dead) in a car(we use this chance to showcase our vintage vehicles which pump so much smoke that the recent Iceland volcanic ash is driven back into the hole with shame)complete with naathaswaram and giggling girls and the bride greets him..They then go to the temple to pray that things should go well according to plan.After this they come back into the mandapam for the nichyadhartham(solemnizing the wedding)...All the elders get together on the stage and read the pathrikai complete with the date,time and other details of the wedding...The bride is gifted a saree and groom miscellaneous bijoux...With the proceedings rehearsed such,what next but sumptuous food?

Back to our story

So yeah as the sun slowly slipped down the hills(Thats where I was taught it would go to,though high school proved otherwise..but who cares?We all stick to our creativity which in my case involves a complex process of the mountains and sea devouring the sun and releasing it the next morning)there were us the trio and him (again Pink to pink :D)....We staged various situations which would include him noticing,recognizing me and striking up a conversation and when sadly none helped(due to him being a very chamathu boy who wanted to help out all the time) I almost gave up.....Then I put on my goody-goody image and started helping out and had to walk past the bride's anna(who we were well acquainted with by now) who called me...

Me:Hi!Eppdi irrukell?(all fake iyer accent for showing off :D)

Anna:Fine.Nee?Admissionlam enna aachu?

Me:Nanna irukken.Admission kedachuduthu..College join panniten..

Anna:Oh Good Good.

(Suddenly oru cross talk)

Crosstalk:Good!

I was surprised and turned my head and he had spoken to me!!!!!!!!

Me:*Concealing glee* *Trying hard for a modest voice*Thanks!

Him:So how's college and all?

Me:Started now only..Idhu varaikum fine..

And so on and on went the nonsensical jabbering for 15 minutes after which I was elated....

And as a rule something came up and pulled me away.There is work to be done(Isn't there always?)

The groom arrived in his ottai car and was received by the bride's side...The ceremony proceeded and the nichyadartha-pathrigai was read out(It contains details like the date,time,star on the date of the wedding and the names and blah blah blah)...

And after one super day of wholesome fun I hit the bed and my eyes closed almost immediately .

Dawn followed midnight with almost indecent haste.

I was roughly shaken awake by mom and was in no mood to get out of those cozy covers..

Mom:Ey..Get up...Time aachu..

Me:Cha..po maa..Ipo dhan thoonginen..please inum konjamm neram..

Mom:Eppo?Kalyanam mudinjapram polama?Che Ezhundru..Somberi..Elarum poiduvaa..

That was the stimulant that awakened me.Sleepily I woke up and dressed in a pretty navy blue saree and decked myself with miscellaneous jewellery...

Day2-Early Morning session

The Pre- Muhurtham

A typical Iyer wedding's crux is the muhurtham...There are three muhurthams..The early morning one(4:30) the morning one (6:00) or the late one(9:00)..The procedures are all the same..

First there is the Kaasi Yaathrai where the groom has to pretend that he is not willing to get married and wants to go to Kaasi(Varanasi) and become a saint...The bride's father has to convince him with miscellaneous items(Umbrella,slippers,walking stick etc) and bring him back...

Next comes the Maalai Maatral.This is nothing short of a competition..The bride and groom are hosted on the shoulders of their respective relatives and they have to exchange garlands.Seems simple?Well,it is not..The catch is that they have to dodge each other and the team that manages to get all garlands in wins.There is a one to one too between the bride and the groom to test their prowess.

Next comes the Oonjal.This is the point where people start to get serious.Fun time being over,the bride and groom are made to sit on a swing set along with some half awake brat who keeps screaming or offering stupid comments while smiling sheepishly.There are coloured Laddoos which are used to ward of the evil eye.Each relative(only married ladies allowed)takes 4 laddoos and draws a circle in the air infront of the couple(laddoo still in hand) and throws each ladooo in each direction(north,south,east,west)..They then give the bride and groom some milk and a piece of banana..After this the Aarathi is taken.

Right after this they are escorted into the mandapam for the original serious rites to start .

Our story

Every typical Iyer wedding has lots of maamis running about decked in kaanjevaram sarees and tons of gold jewellery and ofcourse heavy makeup and heavy gossip are a part of the package,NRI s who just received their green cards and appointment order from Microsoft or Intel or Sun or Google or college graduates who have received their MS admission or those fat nerds in glasses who have just gotten into Anna University/BITS/IIT,kids from DAV,PSBB or those nerdy schools proudly brandishing their see-I-got-first-rank report cards on your face...If you do not fall into one of these categories then you are not in my family (:D) and will be treated with contemptuous looks from those proud moms whose sons/daughters have managed to do(Achieved)all these...

That said,it is only but natural that 90% of the characters in that hall belonged to one of the above categories.Fortunately or unfortunately he did not belong in them yet somehow he was going to be my family in the next few hours.Seemed strange yet exciting.

Now by the time I reached the mandapam I was my usual active self again.There was no time to look around for him as there were loads to be done.Yet,I did threw a furtive glance every now and then,hoping to spot him but alas he was no where to be seen.I heard someone call out my name.

I turned and there was my chittappa being convinced that it was okay to wear kaajal(you know pirates shhhttyyllee) since grooms traditionally did so during the ceremony.My cousin was fighting a losing battle and hence called me for added support.

Harish:Cheee podi.I wont wear all that.Thats' girly stuff

Cousin:Its okay.Just for few hours.

Paati:Dey enna da you are whining like a little kid.Common it'll be over in two seconds.Ey pottu vidu(She said this thrusting the box in my hand)

Me:Ey..Bend down..

Harish:no.

Me:Ey you are 6'1..I have to grow an extra leg to reach that height..Now be a good boy and bend down.Ill put it for you om shanthi om style.

Harish:Dont experiment on me.

Cousin:Common ...

Then came my maami.

Maami:Ey..Enna nadakardhu inga?

Me:Maai ittuka maatengra...Adam pidikra

Mammi:Cha ivlo dhaana?Idhuku ivlo sound...Dey bend da..

I dont known if it was the commanding presence or the bossy voice but he obliged.And when she was finished with him(two lightning strokes)he looked like an ape with black markings under his eyes.Yes,she had smeared it almost two cms think under the eye.

Me:Ha Ha Ha Ha.Naa apove sonnnen..ipo paaru .

Harish:cha po...

By the time the rites had started.He did go on the kaasi yaatrai andduring the maalai maatral the maamas and athimbers were literally declaring war on each other.The one on one got pretty exciting when Priya ran around the whole hall with Harish chasing her.At one point it looked as though they were playing lock and key rather than getting wedded.

Then came the oonjal and when it was finally done Harish looked sick.Common he was not in a zoo and definitely not supposed to be fed so much fruit and milk and the same goes for Priya too.But they did put on a brave face as they walked towards the stage.

Day2-Morning Session The Muhurtham

This is the official wedding.I am not very good at explaining this since it majorly involves chanting of a lot of mantras which I have no clue about.They light the holy fire ,hommam.The groom repeats after the shaastrigal all the mantras without having a clue as to what he is saying with pouring the ghee into the fire every now and then.Other maamis in the hall sip cup after cup of degree-kaapi or juice as they talk about the "interesting developments"(read gossip)since their last meet.The bride's father and mother throw everyone a look of utmost stress as her siblings walk here and there with tension overseeing the arrangements.

The groom's side well not so much.Kids running here and there shouting ,infants crying and naathaaswaaram are part of the package which contribute a very significant amount to successfully tearing the ear drums of the very few people left with sanity..

The bride arrives after sometime and she is gifted the koora-podavai(9 yards saree)which she changes into and she is made to sit on her father's lap and the sacred rope(thiru-maangalyalam) is tied around her neck by the groom as relatives and friends shower them with blessings,flowers and akshadai(the catch here is there people elder than the couple are giving the akshadai..The rest of us have to contend ourselves with shaking the couples' hands like a pump-set )

Next comes the ammi-midithal in which the foot of the bride is place on a stone and the groom adds the toe-rings to her feet(total submission :D) and then the couple have to lie through their teeth saying they can see Arundathi,a star,in broad daylight(Science does take a big blow there).

After this there are a few more rights and what next but lunch?

Our story..

Now where were we?Yes...after the successful oonjal the rites were going on.I hadn't quit my scan yet and suddenly there he was near the stage engaged in a deep conversation with his cousin.Again!Blue to blue..Seemed like one perfect sign,a signal indicating things were travelling in the right direction.I busied myself with the guests but did not forget to shoot him glances now and then.

But then, the main part of the muhurtham came along and even I was in no mood to look here and there as I watched Harish wed Priya.The look of contention on both their faces as they were declared husband and wife in some language was unmistakable.That was the second I understood that some words need not be translated.They just need not.Their meaning may not be understood and infact they need not be uttered at all,but you just understand the feeling their radiate.You understand their importance without them being told explicitly.Such probably was marital bliss.Probably I'll never understand or know this until the day I get married and watch that look my groom gives me.That look which is a mixture of pride and a sense of belonging to each other,how you become someone's better half ,share your whole life,dreams,thoughts,desires with them....You stop being one and coexist with each other.Two different people yet somehow they become one.The look on your dad's face when sees his daughter becoming a Mrs.someone.His face would be filled with a sense of achieving something yet a streak of sadness runs through it when he simultaneously realizes that you are no longer a Ms. and that from tomorrow you'll cease to take his name after yours and the salutation is replaced by Mrs. and so is your surname and initial.The same goes for your mom too.And your siblings will no longer have you around to play or fight with.Those night time conversations,rainy day gossip and squabbling over room boundaries and ownership of stuff all ceases .Yet somehow everyone is happy .

Such were the looks on all our faces.We were so happy for them.And as of us we had gained Priya.She was one of my best friends and now she was officially an insider.Family.That sense of elation of us all belonging together leaves me chasing after words to describe it.

All right yesh the senti stuff being over followed by superb lunch when Ms.Lakshmi Priya Sarma officially turned Mrs.Lakshmi Priya Harish thing started going awry thanks to a second cousin of mine.

Standing on the stairway,we were telling him(the second cousin)as to what was going on these days and he was laughing his head off.He asked us to point to the guy and we pointed to "him".He was sitting on the balcony engaging in a deep conversation with his cousin.

Suddenly (the second cousin)screamed"yaar avara?Blue shirt?" in a voice so loud enough that someone waiting to board a bus to Salem in the koyambedu bus terminus could have heard him.

Needlessly to say he was surprised and looked over his shoulder.We were literally paralyzed with shock.We wanted to get away,yet,our legs seemed to be rooted to the ground.Finally coming to our senses,I ducked down,my sister ran up the stairs and my cousin down the stairs(4 at a time) and there stood my second cousin laughing.Thankfully no damage was done.

Day2-Afternoon session-Nalangu.

This is nothing but a series of games.Pretty fun ones at that too.It starts innocently with the bride and groom sitting opposite each other surrounded by close family.Oh before that the bride has to invite the groom with a plate containing betel leaves,supari and bananas.(Yeah like we needed a special invite?:P but tradition you know).So yeah they sit down and have to comb each other's hair hold up a mirror to check that their respective hair shhytles have not been damaged(There was the wedding photographer who kept clicking away in the background .So unless you dont want the next 20 years to be teased around by your kids you need to be careful)

So yeah there begins the taunting each other that they have not combed properly and such.

Next is the paapad game.The bride takes two paapads and circles the air above the groom's head two times (to gove him a "Head"start ;) ) and breaks it on top of his head.Now the catch is that the groom has to duck away.If he does successfully then he gets a point else the point goes to the bride.We pick teams and cheer them.The same goes for the bride too when the groom gets his hands on the paapad.After all the paapad smashing next come the coconuts and we do not advocate murder by smashing them on heads :D.

The coconut game's rules are pretty simple.The bride can use both hands but the groom is supposed to use only one.(Women's equality?Ha,superiority :D )(the actual reason given is that men are stronger.Keep on believing it you poor deluded things as we bend rules in our favour ;) )

Yeah a coconut is given and one holds it while the other tries to snatch it withing a particular time frame.If successfully snatched a point else the other gets it.

There are few other games and at the end we all very well know who is the winner.

Our story.

There is pretty much nothing here.The maamas and maamis had finished their afternoon fiesta and few were still sleeping like logs and geared up for the game.He probably thought it was too girlie or something and was found no where near the area.So Entertainment factor was pretty much low.Anyway we did have a lot of fun as we cheered both on.And I think Priya won(I am not sure though).Harish for once did not argue(I very well remember the tiffs we had during our Scrabble games that involved him bullying us into lifting the Webster's dictionary and finally not being able to bear the weight of the damn thing we gave in everytime he said something was a new word and it did exist.Check the dictionary.)

Day2-Evening Session-Reception.

There is nothing much to tell.It is pretty much the same everywhere.Bride goes to the parlour and comes back unrecognizable and the groom is all white washed and they are forced to smile until their face muscles hurt and stand on the dias posing for pictures and receive gifts until their legs and hands beg them for mercy.

Our story

Well all the above happened and for once we forgot about other things as us the 3 sisters posed for lots and lots of pictures and gossiped around with friends and pulled each others' legs.After sometime the light music that was going on got pretty unbearable as we left to fill our stomachs with the dinner available.(Well the smell wafting from the kitchen did catch our attention too).We then left home to come back for the final rite that had to take place the next day.Tired yes definitely but super happy.

Day3-Morning Session-Kattu Saadha Koodai

This is a very old tradition that is not found in many Iyer weddings now.It is also one of the very few rites in which young girls get to participate.They are made to dissolve sprouts in damp mud in a tub of water and after are given variety rice.Traditionally after weddings the groom's side have to travel a long way to reach their village and hence the bride's side provide the food for the journey.The travel nowadays is not there but the tradition nevertheless continues.

Our Story.

Well we had come to the climax.It was the last few hours I was going to see him and I had no idea whether I would be able to muster the courage to go talk to him again.Except that accidental conversation on the day of the jaanavaasam nothing else had happened.As they called me to dissolve the sprouts I was a little dazed and dissolved them in such a hurry that caused the others to scream "enna di aachu unakku?".I regained my composure and smiled benignly.And finally all the rites were over and people were congratulating each other and the bride's father on how superb things went.

I turned to glance at himAh!Finally he was alone and no one was looking.I finally mustered my courage and tried to walk towards him when..

"Ey oru nimisham inga vaayen"

I turned.It was my mom.

Me:"enna maa?"

Mom:Car le idha kondu poi veyy.Micham elaam seriya irukka paaru.Edavydu miss pannitomaanu paaru.

Me:apprama vekkata?

Mom:Ippo enna vela unakku?

Me:Adhu vandu.... vandu..... Onnum ille ma

Mom:Pinne yenna?po..

I had no more excuses.I turned to go.I had missed my last chance.I walked towards the car to load the bags.He would have been surrounded with people again.

Finally all our cargo loaded I returned to the mandapam when my cousin came running towards me....

Cousin:ey ey ey

Me:Enna?

Cousin:He is leaving di..

Me:Why didnt you say so before?Where is he?

Cousin:Outside.Almost left.Go.Run

I ran down the steps five at a time.There he was bargaining with an auto driver almost 20 feet away.The stairs never seemed to end and it looked like they had reached a settlement and he loaded his bag into the auto.I had gotten almost 5 feet within the distance but then I realized I did not have anything to say to him.I didnt want to make a fool of myself and so I turned away.

Those 2days were one of the best and I never expected them to end and least of all not this way.I did not know what I had expected.All these thoughts filling my mind and disappointment weighing me down I slowly started climbing the steps again.I had barely placed my foot on the second step when..

Hey!

I turned with such a swing and speed that I just caught my balance in time else I would have fallen flat.There he was in front of me!!Speaking to me!

Him:Hi

Me:Hi...Kelambiyaacha?

Him:Ammam..Vellai iruku...Nice wedding..

Me:Yeah.Nanna Nadandudhu....

Him:So...

Me:So...

The auto driver chose this very second to test the range of his super new horn.

Him:oh I have to go now..

Me:Yeah...

Him:Bye then...Nice meeting you..All the best

Me:Likewise...bye...Wish you the same too...

We shook hands and I extracted mine from his hand and he let go too....He proceeded towards the auto and I turned and skipped up the stairs...I suddenly had a strange feeling ,a voice in my head that was asking me to turn.I was confused but nevertheless I heeded and I was not disappointed.

There he was looking at me and smiling .For how long?That I did not know.May be he saw me skipping in joy,or he had turned just then.I just did not know.I did not care either.

He waved goodbye and as I waved back I realized that all that was left were 2 days of memories that I wouldn't forget in my lifetime :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Microblogging- my a**

How dumber can we all possibly get?We had cyrus on one end "Tweeting" away ...PC,KJ,(yeah supposed to sound cool)...

Twitter is yet another hottie at the moment and if you dont tweet you are not aware of technology allegedly...I have three words for those of you who are actually dumb enough to believe that tweeting is cool-Get a life!

I too signed up to see what the buzz was all about and when I saw it was nothing but attention whore-ing all the way I chose best to abstain from it...Tweet all you want dumbass but nobody aint bothered about what you do every second...

And to the hotshots who think they are so just because they follow the schedules of few celebs-Get your ass out of your head!That celeb aint aware of you existence even!Just because you follow them wont make you any cooler.You stay the same lame and crazy electronic stalker....

I recently read a column in a daily about how some celeb had made a typo and people were making a big deal about it...Seriously?A column?

Is not anything going on in the world or are we all living in a place where our lives revolve around Twitter?

And adding to the recent IPL controversy...Dude!You bought a team for 333 million and while other teams were bought at 67-111 million ..Your cricket board is Fuckin' rich....Time to start worry about BPL-Below Poverty Line...

Every year thousands of farmers commit suicide and here we are discussing some bloody 111 million sale as a let down of democracy?

And how childish can both of them get?Fighting by Tweeting?Really! and support is extended through tweets?A minister resigns?

All of you are about 40..Time to act your age..Not get caught in some fad which a high school kid thinks is cool....

Btw-Miley Cyrus-you are not a teen icon or an inspiration..Get over it!

If you think tweeting is still cool stick your head in the oven until the thought goes off..

Until the next one,
Gaya. :)

Vada Poche....

Exam season has started and I am starting to feel the heat in addition to Chennai's heartless veyyil...Yet here I am 24x7 in front of the PC on a major downloading spree.Why you ask?Simple Airtel is smiling down on all its customers offering superb download speeds and why waste a chance to abuse it ? :D

Right...Namma topic..Oru chinna recap...The phrase made popular by vadivelu refers to something that you want but cycle gap le you lost to somebody else..(Contextual meaning maa ;))And in our case not once or twice but three times..

First Vada-
Namma Hero X....
Typical first day of college...Scared Faces,new rules,new environment,people trying to get to know each other,judgements and other blahs...

Our hero being the garrulous and vivacious(ahem ahem !Typical)guy keeps socialising and the wandering eyes suddenly came to a stand still when he saw her...

(BGM-Naaagradhaana dirannanna dhirana)

First sight le fire works....An instant rush of all the things he loved came to him and as he rushed through them he made a mental note to add her to the list.
Success!Appended...

So as like always our hero fell hopelessly in love with our heroine Y1...She was the exact opposite..Calm,composed,reserved and yeah a bit shy....

Days and Nights passed as our hero started tutoring himself watching all the cheesy gooey romantic flicks where the one qualification to fall in love was portrayed like

Girl:why should I fall in love with you?
Guy:Because I am a guy..
Girl either huffs off(good for her!give the guy two hards slaps you bitch!)or watches the guy dewy-eyed(Now give the bitch two slaps)

So he built his solitude fortress around him with hope without succumbing to dope(Okay Okay the rhyme was lame)....

The saddest part was that his companions had to spend all their time listening to his ramblings...They could take it no more one day when finally they tricked both of them to speak to each other...

Climax:They liked each other and were surprised to find how alike they were and fell madly in love with each other.Everything was fine until one day..Beep.Enough with the fantasy.Back to the conversation

X:Hi
Y1:Hi
X:How are you?
Y1:Fine
X:Had lunch?
Y1:Yeah
X:How is college?
Y1:Fine I guess.
X:Ok bye!


Ipdilam pesina epdinga correct agum?

This was the first and last conversation they ever had...He was elated as she was I should say confused and appalled...

He apologized to her for the conversation and it was one too far when he declared his undying love for her....She could have been disapproving true but no she was not...


She was actually horrified and repulsed and so was our hero when she disclosed that she was in a serious relationship..


Vada Poche...


Second Vada-

One year Later
Same college,same old boring faces who dont give a crap but a change of building...

Namma Hero X

The same garrulous guy he was chatting away nonchalantly when again the wandering eyes rested on her..

(Again-Nagrdhhhaana Dhiraanananna Dhiranaa)

There she was as fresh as a flower dipped in early march dew.The spectacles might have added a bit of geek-i-ness to her look you might think but he preferred to think of them as a ray of...Ah!Who am I kidding?She was a nerd all right...

Anyway Y2, as we shall call her ,was our junior who had no idea that she was at the receiving end of an undying love...(What difference does it make?Seriously!)Meanwhile our hero's friends had to endure the same ramblings again only now Y1 was substituted with Y2's name..Our hero had no chance of even approaching our heroine as her Daddy dearest performed the duties of a bodyguard to perfection...

And then as fate would have it she sat next to me in the bus one day...Ah!Now you might think Cupid had had enough and sent me to do his work...But as Satan casted his bewitching smile on me I had no idea that she was "The" girl and went about having a normal conversation with her....Only while discussing this with another friend did I realize Paavam!Kadavuluku kooda porrukkale!

My shrug was nothing compared to the dismay our hero had to go through when he heard this...

There was the only chance which I had let slip through my very fingers....

The usual stages of denial and acceptance were gone through when suddenly one morning he woke up and realized-

Adada!Vada Poche...

Third Vada-

A year later

Our hero still being the optimistic (ah!You would know by this time what adj am gonna use)

Right..Now this time he let his eyes wander in the train as he was travelling to his home town and there those eyes fell on a very face he'd been looking at for the past 2 years.....

(Nagrrdhaana..Argggggg!Aren't we tired of this by now?)

Uff!!Anyways there she was purely bored and he decided to strike a conversation with her and was pleasantly surprised when he found that they shared the same interests...It was one memorable journey(You might want to enact the first scene from ennaku 20 unnaku 18 here!)

Moving on..For once our thala did not choose to fall for her....But his gang of smart-mouths wouldn't leave him alone..On and on they went about how they two were going to end up together until finally

(Nagrdddhaana didranna diranna)Oops!Couldn't help it sorry ! :D

Now third time's a charm right?But our hero knew by this time pretty much what all could go wrong and meticulously made a list.But as fate would have it our Y3 hated any form of commitment having been unceremoniously dumped by a guy(You know am not sure yet, so maybe we'll wait until he comes "out of the closet")who as days inched past ,I swear ,looked more and more like one ugly duckling(the difference being you can sympathize with the duckling while this douche-bag needs two good whacks on his head to set him straight)...Right yes and our hero chose the wrong time again...But since they had such a good rapport he thought it was only a matter of time before they started dating(or so he wished)...He tried everything from flirting(trust me It was lil' better than last time) to being there listening to all the senti(read lame) stories of how she got dumped and all those dhoka stories...He even met her parents..So close.... but what our hero did not know was that our Y3 had the hots for someone else who was way,way,way(did I use 3 ways?well add some more!)out of her league...Now,our hero didn't give up so easily this time...He tried to convince her that he was true-love material..There were those times when he almost told her,times when he almost wanted to give up,times when he was elated,times when he was frustrated until one day:

Y3:Can I tell you something?

X:*Jumping*Sure..

Y3:I have met many people but I dont think I have met anyone as nice as you.You're wonderful.

X:*Concealing glee*I try..

Y3:No seriously..Can I ask you something?

X:*Bated breath*What?

Y3:Can we be like this you know like forever?

X:Like what?*Gasping*

Y3:You know like friends like this?Always someone I can talk to ,who consoles me and respects me and is there for me.No agenda.No rules.Just friends.Best friends.Always.

#Glass Shattering sounds#

X:*sputters* S-shhh-shhhuuu-sure :)

Mind Voice:Adada Vada Poche!

Thus ended another one of his epic,conquest sagas..

Now you might think the story ends here..Clearly ,you are wrong.After all isn't there a year after this?

And this time Namma hero heart Jessie Jessie nu solla arambichachu :)

Expected Sequel :Thambi Tea innum varale...

Until the next one,

Gaya :)