Dai Sottai!

Now wait this is not directed at all sottai people..Just those who act like douchebags and instill the urge to kill in even the most demure student..

Today was one of the most trying days ever.I had my semester practical exam and with the amount of preparation I had done and this lab being one of my favorites I was pretty confident that I could finish off within an hour so and walk away happily.So did it happen?NO..I was left all huffy and puffy and my mind was filled with so many expletives that if I had let even one slip that would have been the end.

Anna University has this wonderful habit of updating its syllabus every decade or so.This is one of the reasons I have never been taught a program in the lab more difficult than addition of nos or fibonacci series.While we are on that my college has this again wonderful habit of giving the programs ready made and its surprising how most of them follow this practise unquestioningly.Probably because of the fact that it is the easier way.And most of the externals who sit lethargically eating sojji-bajji does not open any door for development either.

But there is one particular thing that I have never understood.The examiner literally tortures the very few people who make an attempt to answer.Now this can be viewed from a positive angle that they want you to learn more.Wrong! The way they ask you question after question and then some more questions and after what seems like eternity finally say "Ennama!Idhu kood therila!"..Dude! I am human not a humanoid ...My mind can work till maximum the 10 th question thrown at me.And the way you watch my lips move fast trying to comprehend what I say is not helping either and neither does you butler english.

So I hear this guy trying to ask me to do something..He speaks English like he is been transferred to Chennai recently from a place where English is even unheard of(He thought he spoke like a Brit but well to each his own) .So I tell him"I am sorry sir but I am not able to understand what you expect".Next thing I know he says the same thing like a broken record.Word and word with nearly 5 seconds gap between each.Dude!You think I am a cave woman or what?

The worse part was that he asked me to make nearly some 15 changes and after catering all those whims and fancies I finally had enough.The 16th change completely pissed me off and when he kept chuckling it was evident that he was trying to break me.This was not a competition.It was a game that he was playing at my expense.This mark is on my permanent record and he couldnt care less.Finally though I got both the outputs he refused to verify even one because apparently it was not the format he wanted.Loser!

After all this there came the viva.In a time interval of 5 minutes he shot nearly 12 questions at me and I was able to manage some 8 or so.Impressive?No it earned me 5 marks!And then I was told that a lot of them got zero on their viva!

I literally threw the paper when it was being collected and was so glad when it was my chance to leave.

Efforts are being made to trace the Sottai.

P.S-The sottai had an amazing "Gadothgajan" lunch and tortured the afternoon batch with an even greater vigor.

Sottai,I sincerely hope your lips seal shut forever.

25! a.k.a The beginning or the end.

Its been almost 10 months since I started blogging and I am down to a quarter century.Impressive? Definitely not! Am I getting better?That is left for you all to decide.

So what do I write about?But before that let me give you a good reason for the irregularity in posting.I have been held up lately with the application process for my Masters and hence am left with almost no time for even regular gossip( :O)

And apologies for I have nothing remotely fun to write about.It has been a really long time since I posted and I just felt I had to get back.

Okay..let me write about how I sacrificed a first day first show of "Enthiran" for a trip to Rameshwaram.Now,now hold the "ayooo ippove kaasi,rameshwaram nu poriyaa?" thoughts..(yes yes I am only 20) .Far from being a bhakthi trip it was an amazing one as I travelled from north of TamilNadu to an end point of India.

So as I did near one point and it suddenly struck me that I was just an hour away from an end point(Dhanushkodi) I was left wondering the same thing that I did when I was at Kanyakumari(that actual end point) .It was something very simple.So I turn to face the sea and I am walking towards the end(Oh,Common! not the literal end..Its not like I am going to walk into the sea ).But if I just turn around I am walking towards the beginning of a nation.Its just one weird feeling.

Its the same point.But it is the beginning and the end.It all came down to the side you face.So was it the beginning or the end?In the end what struck me was even if you walk towards the end,you'll have to turn right around and face the beginning.The end is always there but so is the the beginning a turn away.It all comes down to the choices you make that decides which side of life you want to see:The optimistic one or the pessimistic one.

All right,all right I'll come up with something better next time :)

My Security Blanket

Realization dawned on me akin to the smell of Sundal announcing the arrival of Navarathri. It has been nearly 6 months since I got my license ,yet,I cannot drive without the L board on my car.It has been in many ways some thing that protected me.

Now I've had some really bad experiences when I started to drive and hence it was put on suspend mode for nearly 2 years.It was under Dad's insistence and the lure of my i10 that I resumed driving.Like Sridevi dancing around Rajinikanth I drove around the same street for nearly a million times until I got my left and right turn right.(That goes without saying that half of those million times my dad's preaching was heard over my panicky-breaths).Of course you do understand how important the L board was during those"stressful"times.

Around February of this year I was allowed to drive alone in and around Anna nagar.The fear did slowly start evaporating but still I needed the L board for reassurance.

There were times when I almost ran into someone and they came to me,looked at my L board and quietly passed me.The countless times when I looked at my rear view mirror and saw

cars standing at a safe distance from me were always accompanied by a sense of reassurance.

As Feb dissolved into march which gave way to April,May,June etc I grew more confident and my radius slowly widened to areas like Nungambakkam,Aminijikarai,Halls road and such.The L board was still there.I was bidding my time thinking"Let it be there for a few more days".

July ,August and mid Sept were pretty busy months and I rarely was seen outside the house let alone the car.

I finally resolved that the day I took my car to Satyam alone I'd get the L board off.

Final Update:I drove to satyam and infact a bit further than that to Express Avenue with the car full of a bunch of noisy friends,blaring music and blinding flash lights but still the L board didn't come off.

It has infact become a part of my car right from the day my driving was graded as "When Gayathri has to drive the road has to be cleared to avoid any casualties " to "Oh!Okay she can drive till Kilpauk in the peak hours".I just hope some day I'll be ready to part with.

Not now maybe but some day I know I can get out of my safety net for sure.Until then Oh!My L board you are my saving grace :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Update:As of 10/10/10 10:10 A.M the 'L' Board has officially come off.No more heads up for the death cab or wait the death i 10..No,wait that sounds lame.

Daddy's little girl

All right guys,before we move further "senti" alert:This post has some waah-waah moments and is not completely random.That clarified,lets get a move on.

Now,dedications.To all the daughters in the world who on the outside are hard headed and independent but on the inside are sissys who still want to be fussed over by their dad.

I recently had to be at Bangalore.I had to travel alone since my parents were caught up with some work here.It was arranged that I stayed with my dad's cousin.I put on my "oh-I-am-so-well-behaved" face helping them out around the house and such.A completely "un-brattish " behavior if you will.I must have overdone it since my aunt called up my mom soon after with a few well chosen words " Chitra,un ponna nanna valathruke.She is so well behaved and quiet.She helps around the house too.I am very pleased to have her here".My mom goofed up by laughing out loud adding an "Yaaru avala?Gayathri patthiya solre?". Aunty was of course surprised.As of me I wasn't but still I was mad at her for giving my game away.

Well why exactly was mom surprised?

Fact 1:I cannot go for more than 2 seconds without speaking.

Fact 2:I speak so fast and so much that asking me to shut up thrice won't do the trick.

Fact 3:I don't lift a finger around the house.

Fact 4:I use the best of tricks to coerce my dad into getting my own way.

Right from when I was little,I have always looked up to my dad and craved his approval.I do get it all the time.I literally swell up with pride every time someone tells me I take after my dad.I do have the guilty pleasure of throwing a lot of tantrums when mom is not around so that dad will let me have my own way.Everytime dad tells me that he is proud of me my feet are lifted a couple of centimeters above the ground in fact.

Dad has always been very patient.He did not care about grades ever.I do remember when I was in primary school when we went for shopping to the biggest supermarket in my area then:Yeses Super market. Me and my sister loved board games.Mom never allowed us to buy them since we already had a lot of games and rarely used them for more than a week.It was an unwritten agreement between us sisters.One had to lure mom away on some pretext and meanwhile the other had to lead dad to those games and get whatever was necessary for both of us.This kept on going until we were caught red handed.Mom was glowering at us until finally dad said " ippo vilayadama eppo vilayada poraa?" which earned few well-chosen swea words from mom and of course a bad dinner.

Whenever I fought with my sister I used to go hide behind dad because he deflected her away.If it were mom she would have slapped me hard first before handing me over to my sister for further slaps.

He loves his work and more than that :cars.The showcase at home is stacked with various miniatures and every navarathri he fights to have a car display with me.Oh wait,I forgot to mention that I am officially incharge of the golu at home.Last year when I put my foot down and refused that random cars here and there do not go with the tone of the golu,he made it a point to make cross roads and told me it was a traffic jam(scroll up for the picture).I had to give in.Every year also sees a display of his cable car zooming up and down which pisses me off to no end.But nothing gives him more pleasure than to work it up and down as all the kids gape with an open-mouth.I remember all those years when he made all my art-projects and I finally ended up scoring full marks when I actually know enough only not to glue my fingers with the fevicol.

He always has chocolates no matter what.I remember going to school with a box full of imported chocolates and all my fighting over who gets how much.The tradition continues till now.My fridge is never devoid of chocolates or Minute Maid. And while we are on food ,he cooks really well and makes sure even after a tiring day at the office,he makes whatever I ask him to.He makes it a point to take us all out for dinner atleast once a week.

He has a wonderful sense of humor.We love the nicknames like (Penang para mundam abb to PPM)he comes up with .Let me give you one example that happened on our Sunday morning drive.

Appa:Car otta kathukardu computer kathukre maari dhan.Evlo nondaromo avlo kathukalam

Me:Epdi solre?Car Innum kashtam pa.Difference iruku.

Appa:Enna di difference? Adula thappu aachu na hang aaydum.Idhula hang pannuvan avlo dhan.

It was not the words but the casual attitude that made me laugh :)

I never did come to the tantrum part did I?I often am a diva and to get my way I do throw a lot of tantrums.And every one of them are directed at dad since I am aware that he is the only one who gives in to my ludicrous demands.It may be something small like something I'd want done or bought to demanding him to say sorry for something he had said by mistake.Being called a wall,hard headed,impassive by my friends all take a back seat as I make it a point to cry at the slight sign of frustration shown by dad.Its just that I have always wanted to not disappoint him.

Anyways why am I reminiscing? Mom and dad have already started talking about me leaving next year and making loads of phone calls to relatives to take care of me and I am not even in the acceptance phase yet.I have never lived alone and I don't know if it'd be good,okay or bad.I haven't even traveled alone until recently.I have never been financially independently.I never thought that the time to say goodbye would come so soon.I always imagined that I'd be ready by that time.I don't think I am yet.

I don't know if I ever will be.

P.S-I gotta run.Dad is making more-appams and the smell is wafting all the way over to my room .Smells like a mini Saravana bhavan heaven.

Until the next one,

Gaya. :)

A Tryst with Destiny

Oh how I love those words!

Do I sound a bit like a character dropped straight out of an Enid Blyton or perhaps a Jane Austen novel?Oh so be it!But wait just for a minute.Weren't they too one of "those"who we fought against for decades before we could reclaim what was rightfully ours?

History was one subject that always ranked #1 in my list of favorite subjects,occasionally losing out to English.Not because I loved remembering dates and names but because the finer shades of it fascinated me.The quirky nature of various rulers always had me thinking about how much damage/good a momentary change of mind could have done.How you ask?Let me illustrate.What if the apology demanded by Austria was probably let go in the interest of many?Oh but no!They had to fight.And there was no reason for the others to join them.But they did.For their own benefits and in all this hustle and bustle thousands of lives were lost.It was quoted as "towards development".Hell yeah!You splurge our tax money on such unnecessary things and finally ask us the only thing we have left for ourselves-our heartbeats.And lo! it was termed World War I and was a mark in history.And I do not even plan to go into detail about World War II.

Hold on!We digress again.Yeah Independence. Protests,deaths,marches,injuries,insults and what not?The story of Independence is not what I plan to go into in detail.I am sure almost all of you would know that from the 80 page illustrated text books of the 6th and 7th grade.

What I am asking you to do now is to do an introspection.What according to you is freedom?Do you think our country is travelling in the right path?Do you think that so many years of labour and sacrifice are in vain due to the vested interests of a few,who we have the misfortune of ruling us?

Keep thinking.Let me know.

Until the next one,

Gaya. :)

Permutations and Combinations.

Now please dont get the wrong idea that this is some kind of maths tutorial.Trust me when I tell you that Maths is one of those subjects I absolutely loathe.Strange coming from a person who has never scored below 70 in math.But it is not necessary that you'll have to love almost every little thing that you do or then again there is no hard and fast rule that only if you have the passion for something you'll be able to get on with.If that was the case I'd be happily doing psychology by now in some corner of the nation and not be sitting with pillow sized textbooks titled "Database Management" or "Network Management" while trying to maintain a balance in my sanity-meter.

But ,as always is the case ,we digress.The title is about one of the most unpredictable things.How about a few rounds of guessing?Okay?

Oil prices?

World Economy?

Next World War?

Is Kalmadi insane?

The next general Election?

Tomorrow's dinner menu?

NO.

This post is about the story of a passport.The story behind how a perfectly i-toe-the-line citizen was made to rush from one end of the state to another before he could obtain a passport.And all because of his name.One of my earlier posts,What's in a name? had a reference to this.(The second paragraph)

(For those who feel the soberithanam to navigate I Ctrl+C,Ctrl+V it here)

It appears that if you have multiple names+multiple surnames+You native place's name annexed to your name it is not very easy guessing what name and what combination will actually turn up in your passport.

Now I should not be the one to talk.Because thankfully my whole lineage has had single names.And my passport was attached to mom's when I was barely 1 year old wherein there was not much that I could offer for proof than a bokka-vaai smile and a goo-gooo-gaaa(Roughly translated to : Sotta maama I have done my part.Please hand over that chocolate before I forget my niceties and grab it myself)sound which due to lack of technology was not recorded for voice recognition and sadly I cant do that goo-gooo-gaaa anymore.I can voice my thoughts though which will prove much more disastrous of course.

That said,this particular guy(Shyam Anand) had the misfortune of carrying two names and in addition a family name and his dad's name.The family name ,as like in most Telugu families,was his native place's.

So the full name as per his school records is T.G.Shyam Anand.

Now there was a reason for the urgency.He wanted to write his GRE exam soon and a passport is mandatory as the validation proof for the exam.The name you give while booking cannot be changed and must be found alphabet-by-alphabet in your passport.Else out of Everonnn systems you get.

That said the usual procedures of filling out applications were gone through and a bonafide was received from the college.

Now here entered the villian.It appears that they got his name was spelt wrong on the ration card.Since his certificates and bonafide held the correct spelling.So his passport application was daar-daara kilichified and hurled royally into Chennai's Thames Koovam.

However,unfazed by all this he tried to apply again.Now began the cat and mouse game.He was supposed to show his birth certificate as the proof(For the name).

Problem 1:His birth certificate did not have his name.

Consequence:He had to run to the gazetted officer to get a signature.

Problem 1.a:He was born in coimbatore so he had to run there.

Problem 1.a.a:The database crashed for the babies born on that particular month of 89.

Problem 1.a.a.:They could not do anything because of Tamil-Maanadu preparations.

Poor guy almost died running from end to end.Finally after around 3 or 4 months the passport appeared and it was neither one of the combinations we had guessed.It was....Oh wait a minute I never told you our guesses did I?

Guess 1 : First Name :Shyam

Last Name :Anand

Guess2: First Name :Shyam Anand

Last Name :GopiKrishnan

Guess 3: First Name :T.G

Last Name :Shyam Anand

Guess 4: First Name :Shyam Anand

Last Name :T.G

Guess 5: First Name :Shyam

Last Name :Anand Gopikrishnan

Guess 6: First Name :Gopikrishnan

Last Name :Shyam Anand

The Final name:Thota Gopikrishnan Shyam Anand

Result:University applications did not have enough boxes to fill his name :)

P.S-Getting passports is like gambling.You have luck you get it.Else in Coimbatore you stay :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

"Classical" tales of an aam aadmi.

I have often been criticized for my choice of books.They are well-uh often very masala. Noe come on, don't act all surprised.I am sure you would have read at least a few of my posts(or so I hope!) and definitely noticed the masala-ness(!) in them.Yet I was content until sometime ago when I saw almost everyone raving about one "Master piece" or other.Not the one to be left out I jumped in the bandwagon too.

My first tryst with a classic can be summarized in two words:Epic Fail.The saddest part was that it was an abridged version."Vanity Fair".Disaster spelled in two words would be an acute description.For someone who had religiously read school non-detailed versions of Shakespearean plays,the Harry potter series,Enid Blyton's books and all of Sheldon's books it was a completely different experience as there it involved no murder/theft and chasing around the culprit around the globe and the detective finally falling in love with the to-be-convicted.Emotions were given importance and it was required that I understand all the nuances.It was NOT a page-turner.Realization dawned a bit too late off course.And around 10 pages later I decided Wikipedia can give me more information than I possibly can and would ever gather from the book myself.

The next tryst was with "A tale of two cities".Now this time the description and two pages later there I was turning faithfully to my Wiki.

That said I had stayed away from them for long and with good reasons too.And recently I received some gift vouchers from college for having won some competitions and well Landmark was the place we had to abuse them in.So we started picking up books by the dozen and I noticed this Jane Austen complete collections.Now I know that these novels have had filmi-adaptations as in here,here,here.But I did want to give a classic at least a shot.

Experiment:Finishing at least Sense And Sensibility within the next month(I am a bit hard-pressed for time now actually and the fine print isn't helping either :( )

Probability=0.25

Update 1:Done with the 1st chapter.

More updates soon.Lets see if I can do this.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Madarasapattinam-Epic fail.

Now come on, I already mentioned once that I am not a very good movie reviewer.I only write(read trash) those which not appealed to me and this is considering the bar tolerance set abysmally low.You very well know how this one is going to turn out.So if you havent seen the movie yet/you liked the movie a lot/if you are in love with Amy Jackson/Arya(or both!) please stop reading further.Dont tell me I didnt warn you.And mind you this is just my opinion and comments like "You have no taste" "Arya/Amy is(are) way too hot to be criticized" " The movie is an epic " "Dont you dare utter a word against such a novel attempt" etc will not be entertained.Atleast not here.

The movie is an epic allright.An epic fail.A poor man's titanic.An absolute scene by scene rip off of the Titanic and Lagaan.And to add to this poor lighting contributed in its own way to this british-girl-falls-in-lovvu-with-brave-man-story.

The movie begins with someone dying and moves to an 80 yr lady returning to India to seek her true love,one who she lost on the day of Independence.Cut to 1945 as the story beings to unfold through her eyes.And right from there I saw the movie through Cameron's eyes.

The first scene is exactly similar to how she sees the rusted interiors and starts visualizing how the original titanic was.Everytime I hear the theme of Titanic the catch that lodges in my throat refuses to go away.Yes,all these 12 years.And what did I feel when I heard this so called "Feel of love" theme?Sorry for the music director for attempting to recreate the masterpiece score of Horner.The soul stirring score has been reduced to something totally pathetic.

Allright moving on,yeah the same visualization with a pathetic attempt at a vivid description(Highly unlike the one by Gloria Stewart) the movie opens with a shot of Spencers in 1945 and strangely there were two characters resembling the character Broke Lovett and his assistant and of course a grand daughter.

The heroine is forced to get engaged to a british commander(Again duh!) and she has a mother who forces her into it.And right about that time she meets the hero.Now forget Titanic for a while as we get the copy of Lagaan out.Our hero is a dhobi and their settlement is annexed by the British who need the place to build a golf course.Hero opposes and fights the General one-on-one and wins the land.

Now too much digression from the Titanic cant be welcomed ,can it?Back on,they meet and fall in love.People start noticing.As per tamil cinema rules a Thaali sentiment sequence which is a must is also present.The thaali is of course a replacement for the Heart of the Ocean.

After a couple of duets being sung(with pookal pookum sounding strangely familiar(!))we are back to a bit of Lagaan when she dons on a saree and dances with the Hero and there is a small English bit in one song(again resembling O Rey!) and then Independence is declared and she has to return to England.She doubles back from the train and then on begins the chase very much like that in Titanic.They keep running and running until you start squirming in your seat,the popcorn and coke long gone.They hide in a clock tower with the heroine singing "Where will I be without you?"(Again sounded strangely like "Come Josephine").Finally,the villain gets hurled from a clock tower.And then they run some more(phew!)...

Finally hope rises in you(more like suppressing the bile rising) when you see her trying to save the guy by rowing them away when they are caught....So what does our heroine do? She forces the hero into a swimming ring and leaves him under a bridge,lest the britishers kill him.Now during the letting go of hands she again pulls a classic Rose.The same kind of dialogue is spoken and finally she lets go the same way Winslett actually does and the hand is seen sinking into the water and Amy is taken away to be married off.

The next scene is again a typical one from the Titanic where all the listener's of this classic(!)tale cannot control their tears and burst out like sissys.Now I had no idea what was going through the director's mind.Probably he must have been so tired in ripping off the Titanic and lagaan that he must have finally laid his hands on another DVD for the ending.-The Notebook.

When Amy finds him dead I actually felt no sympathy for her or Arya.The characters were so shallow and Arya in particular is neither funny and nor can he emote.The lighting is pathetic too.

There are no ways to differentiate the past and present when the movie cuts between both.

Somethings that I should have done:

1)Not trusted any movie reviews or for that matter all these emo cases raving that the movie was an extra-ordinary attempt.

2)Grabbed a copy of Lagaan and Titanic,kicked back at home and experience the catch in the throat that I do everytime Jack's hands disappear into the water.

3)Gone to Woodland and ogled at the pictures of old madras.(Wait!Googling is easier)

4)Thrown a live wire at GV Prakash for trying the "Copy" Raagam.

5)Asked to meet the non-existent Script writer(I am very sure 20 copies of all the three afore-mentioned movies did that work)

Finally:

Mr.Vijay(the director)if only you were about some 15 years early you could have won accolades for this movie for its novelty.Paavam,you too are the victim of plagiarization .Tch,Tch.Let's sue Cameron come on.But ,oh wait! he is not even aware of your existence,is he?

Madarasapattinam-A pathetic attempt at recreating Titanic.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

What's in a name?

Now,for once my dear Shakespeare you are absolutely wrong.There is plenty riding on it as I soon found out recently.

It appears that if you have multiple names+multiple surnames+You native place's name annexed to your name it is not very easy guessing what name and what combination will actually turn up in your passport.

I was lucky enough to have single first name and a father who again had a single first name which became my last name.Now dont ask me why my mom's name is not included in my initial or last name.It appears that if you dont have a particular family name(Dutta,Patel,Rao etc) your father's name is automatically super-glued to your name until the Husband factor displaces it(Thanks for the terms Aristotle).

I did ask my mom once why my initial was only S and not S.J.She went off on a rant about how not only the Indian system but the whole world keeps conveniently forgetting women's roles.She kept digressing more and more and then some more and finally when I couldn't nod anymore I got up hurriedly thinking of someplace I had to be.

My next target was paati(grandma).

Me:"Why is my initial only S and not SJ?"

P:That is how it works.My initial had only my father's name until I wed your thaatha.

Me:But why paati?Didnt you protest?Tell them that its unfair.Didnt your mom fight for her rights?.

P:Mom had no time for that.She was very busy.

Me: Doing what?

P:Managing the household,looking after dad and us and most importantly delivering child after child.You know?She delivered 11 children in total.

Me:After that?

P:She died.So you see no time whatsoever.We were either busy trying to save our lives during the World War or studying and cooking that we had no time to ask these questions.

Me:Didnt education want to make you ask questions?

P:No.Andha kaalathla ellam unnoda appa kita nee ippo adam panra maari mudiyadhu.If we have to talk to the menfolk then we make sure there are in a good mood.

Me:And still you stand by your statement that those were the best of times?

P:Yes I am sure.Atleast people were people.Honest.

Me: We are digressing paati.You havent answered my question yet?

P:Yeah yeah.I dont know.It was your parents' decision.Left to them.

Me:That is not an answer.

P:Go ask your Thaatha.

Target 3 -Thaatha.

As I was ascending the staircase I heard the choicest of TamBrahm swear words.It could only mean one of two things if liberal amounts of "shanniyane,kazhutha,kaataila poravane,azhu moonji" were used.Either he was watching a tamil serial or a cricket match.It was a very bad time to aggravate him further.Nevertheless I decided to meet the lion in its den.

Me:Thaatha.

T:Erumma maatu Thaa...*Turns*Oh..Enna?

Me:Oru question.

He looked at me unbelievingly.The look suggested "Since when do you think I started putting out invitations for "Common ask me questions" sessions ?".Nevertheless I continued staring at him till...

T:*Impatiently* Enna?

Me:Why is my initial only S and not SJ?

T:Eh?What does J stand for? Ethavdhu TV la dance aadra pudhu Shanniyanna?

Me: Illa.Amma peru.

T:Unga amma peru Chitra dhaane?

Me:illa.Official name vera.

He looked like he couldn't care less.

Me:Sollu thaatha.

T:Ummmmm,errrr...Therile di.Poi paatiya kelu.

Me:Ketachu.

T:Amma?

Me:Ketachu.

T:Appa?

Me:Innum illa.

T:*Sensing the escape route* Appa va poi kettuko.Enna ippo TV paaka vidu.

I sensed a lost battle.As I turned to leave the Tv was un-muted and there were screams of "Shanniyane" that filled the room.

Target 4-Appa.

Me:Appa.

A:Ey..Veedu poora kuppa potruka.Poruppe ille.

Me:Wait wait.I want to ask you something

A:Enna?

Me:Why is my initial only S and not SJ?

A:*Same expression of disbelief* Office la irundu vanda odane loosu thanama kelvi ketu uyira vaangadha.

Me:Sollu pa.

A:Adhelam theryadhu di.My initial is only S and not SA.Your mom's was S and not SK.Your sister's is not SJ but S.Dont question all this.This how it is.

Me:But Aishu's is PG no?

A:So?

Me:So why is mine not SJ?

A:What difference does it make? Ennoda peraye nee full eluda maate.SundarRam le first half eh cut pannitu style ah Ram nu poda vendyudhu.Idhule Amma per en illanu 10000 kelvi vera.Podi.

Me:But...

*Phone rings* Appa senses chance

Appa:Ey Business call disturb pannadhe.

Goes to the side.I listen on...

Appa:*on the phone*Ah sollu Baalu.Next week dhaane Fox Hunt?No problem.Lunch ku Veg Biriyani solidalam.

I sighed.Hopelessly.

Lessons learnt.

When you question an age-old tradition

1)All women go on a rant about how they were suppressed "andha kaalathla" and ask you to be thankful that you can talk back to your elders.If she is also your grandma she might add subtle hints about how your dad and mom are giving you too much freedom by allowing you to ask questions.

2)All men stare at you in disbelief.Not because of the question you raised.The expression is more likely "Why me?" .They shrug and nod and go do their work.If you pester them they point out that you haven't done your daily duties either and expect that guilt should stop you from asking questions.

So,Shakespeare there is a lot riding on a name.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

After Mahabharatha here comes Ramayana....

I dont know exactly why but I have never really understood the so-called hidden meaning behind the subtlety of Mani Rathnam's movies.Now I have no doubts about his movie making skills.He is a fine film maker.Point duly noted.Its just that I dont get the point behind few things he religiously sticks to.

*Like the themes he used to adopt in most of his movies-Love,Terrorism or Love and Terrorism(Dadagiri is a subcategory) .

*On why he insists that the movie be shot in minimal light so that half the time you have to squinch your eyes to see who is in the frame.

*The usss--bhusss sounds that periodically arise indicating that some dialogue is being delivered that makes you strain your eyes to get the drift of what is being spoken.

*On why he still thinks Abhishek Bacchan can deliver in rustic roles that demand a lot of performance and gamut of emotions to be expressed effortlessly.

I really feel sad for AB jr.I do.The gargantuan nature of stardom of his father and his wife weighing upon him,and always being used as a reference scale to judge him has eclipsed his skills.But still he does maintain his cool.I do admire him for that.But this movie gave him a new standard to be compared to : Vikram.

I have always admired Vikram.His career graph has had the worst start but he patiently held on till he had his start and once it took off he never looked back.He is not the one to sit around and complain about how no one took notice of him.Rather he gets into the arena and performs.And how!Commercial cinema or parallel cinema,he gets noticed.

Hardly two months and the movie is already on TV !

Dhalapathy worked Mr.Rathnam.Our thalaivar Rajnikanth and the script did the magic.

Hold on to Vikram and shake off AB Jr.Let him go prance around beaches with John and his insured-derriere while you can watch your scripts come alive with the magic they were intended to.

P.S-We wouldnt say no to another mushy Alaypayuthe with Maddy :)

What a Bollywood addicted soap fan would do when she comes across a hindi song in an english sitcom...

To those not very familiar with Bollywood cinema-

Dancing away are Shah Rukh Khan , Juhi Chawla and Sonali Bendre.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVrwxKao74s

P.S-Why am I sharing this video?Very simple...I heard this song play in the background of one episode in the 3rd Season of The Big Bang theory(The one with the kite-flying and all..Do watch closely the scene where Howard enters with the patang..Before Raj answers the door this song can be heard playing on the TV)It took me some time and some hits to get the song right and well managed a few laughs after watching this :) ...

P.P.S-I fell in love with SRK after watching DDLJ and managed to fall out love (!) watching this.

A time when you could not even trust the air you breathe

Thanks to Shyam who inspired me to write this...It is a wonderful break from the cheesy romantic stories I have been writing so far..I owe you one da :)

All right this is not another post about some futuristic or far fetched world(V for Vendetta, Equilibrium and countless other Hollywood flick typos) and where the world is under an imminent threat and one hero rises among the masses to save the people.This,in fact is a story of the past...A deadly past which people even shudder to think about. The night of december 2nd 1984 when the deadly tragedy struck taking with it almost 3000 of central India's population.To be killed for some fault of yours or maybe as a turn of events is different.But dying in your sleep agitatedly without having no clue as to what is going on,when the new hope of a tomorrow remains a dream crushed by some crude corporate giant is unacceptably.Have we reached a particular realm of capitalistic society where currency notes can been exchanged for few hundreds and thousands of lives?If honestly you answer in affirmative to the above question then long gone is the time when life was for living.It has become existance.It has passed beyong coining it "Survival of the fittest".Rather it has become "survival of those who can kill and get away with it".

Mr.Warren Anderson,Union Carbide.I am not going argue on the perspective of letting him away was a big mistake.It was,yes.But even if we punish him there is no way that we can ressurect the dead or abate the suffering of those still undergoing the agony for the past 25 years.All I ask is do consider what compensation was given.Was it justified to bribe hundreds and thousands of politicians who were totally did not require the money and pay so little to those who actually needed it?

All these poiliticians raising this issue now,with all the finger pointing and commisions going on "to probe" into the issue,how much probing did you all actually do to make sure the issued compensation actually reached the masses?

BJP blames Rajiv Gandhi for the escape of Anderson.So be it.But there was BJP govt after all this.If they wanted to,they could have helped these people.May be they did to a small extent.Truth this at the very heart of a abundant with wealth,weeps an entire state for almost quarter of a century.We have not yet extended our hands to wipe away the drops.Will there come a day when we look beyond all national,cultural and monetory barriers and view people as people,the way it was meant to be?

I leave it to time to answer this question.

P.S-Thanks to Swathi who gave me valuble viewpoints on this.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Kulir-100 -Freezes you to Death

I am not generally very interested in writing movie reviews .Why?I dont consider myself a good critic.

Therefore,most of the time my opinions on movies are restricted to ok,good,attu padam or oru-dadava paakalam. Not that I dont watch a lot of movies.I do.I catch almost every boring flick in town just because I have a lot of free time,vetti friends and the smell of butter-popcorn beckons me(!) from Satyam.

But there was one particular movie which surpassed all the boundaries of obnoxiousness that any movie at that time had not.(Sura was released much later and I havent seen it yet and so I havent been affected by the usual nauseating feeling or randomly wanting to stop the car in the middle of the road and advice a police-maama on the evils of maamul or go about kissing pallu-vizhuntha paatis for apparently no reason,bursting into a dappan-kuttu right in the middle of anna-saalai , bashing up a wannabe cool-doood (Signs to identify this category-the high lights which look like he had some seth-ji spit paan all over his head , the skull keychain on the chest bouncing away,one group of vethu-vettus ,a cellphone without a battery or balance purchased at pondy bajaar and the vetti engeeelees) or pretty much any other feeling that you get when you watch a Vijay flick.)

June '09

I was attending an in-plant training at Southern Railways when suddenly one day was declared off due to the arrival of a minister.Thrilled ,we started making plans and soon we took hold of the faithful 7F to Abirami theatre..I was trying to show off when I got on the foot board while the bus was still moving which earned a few well chosen swear words from the conductor.Brushing them off with a smile (read gloat) I alighted ,which agitated the conductor to the extent of making rude hand gestures.Feeling triumphant for apparently no reason other than setting a very bad example I stood there ,as my friends got down at the stop and walked towards me with one look that said-"Wow!Bad ass behaviour man"(edukkelam?Kadavulle)..If I were my guruji Vadivelu the first words that would have sprung to my lips would have been "Ippdi ussupethi ussupethiye odamba ranagalam aakidradhu".But I was not Vadivelu and I did enjoy that attention back then.

Yeah we checked the list of movies playing and there was Pasanga and this Kulir 100..Pasanga looked quite rural and this Kulir... looked pretty urban and stylish so we chose the latter(And what a mistake it was!I saw Pasanga later and loved it..)..So as we entered the multiplex(!) and were directed towards the screen we stumbled on until we reached our seats.The theatre smelled pleasantly of one that hasn't been cleaned in atleast two days and chairs with broken arm-rests.It rather looked like a cross between the dingy theatre that screens colour-padams(If you get my drift) at Parangimalai and the newly renovated Raaki(Swear ! it is way better)at Ambattur.

So yeah , post advertisements when we were comfortable seated,complete with the stale popcorn that we were mercilessly charged Rs.50 something for ,we heard an ear-piercing scream which went like,

Nallavan evan ?

Kettavan evan?

Kodum vishatukku porandhavan ivann...

(Crudely translated to)

Who is the good guy?

Who is the bad guy?

This guy is born to deadly poison(The kind you would want to take after watching this flick!)

This crap went on for around 3 minutes and we successfully missed the titles as we frantically looked around for a place to safeguard the popcorn and cover our ears to save the eardrums.

Finally the noise subsided and as everyone went WTF was that? we were soon treated to our hero waiting atop a building waiting for someone.Well,the someone arrived and was kozhi-amukkified (covered in a sack akin to what someone would do while trying to steal a hen) and beat up.You have no clue in the confusion that prevails and the hero runs away.Next day surprise surprise(!) police lands on his door step since they found his ID in the crime(!) scene.He is whisked away to the station and one MLA like katta-panchayat guy arrives and demands his son let go.Now from where did this son character arise you might think.Anga dhan director twishttuu.Namma hero's appa is a rowdy.Appa and amma Lovvu marriage.Amma does not like appa's ways.They separate.But they are all paasams over their son who as expected grows up like a Thadu-thala(dunder-head).

Appa is all proud(!) that son is a budding-dhaadha(don).(Enna appan da?).So cut to Koyambedu market where our hero dances amidst vegetables and colourful lights with a skimpily clad Item-girl imported from Mumbai to celebrated the release from jail.(shabbha!)

Enter amma who thinks that the thadu thala is out of control and interfering with her bank exam.So he is carted off to Ooty to continue his studies.Now with the hero's face so bloated up and the rowdism depicted you might think he is probably joining his final year or something.Anga dhaan Second twishttu.Namma hero is joining 11th.

He is made to share a room with a sidekick who looks like one yaanai without its thumbikkai (Elephant without trunk) and goes "Broooooooo"(Dey!Adha yenda Bru kaapi maari solre?)

The first day and already namma hero invites the "wrath" of seniors.There are three of them in all.And as per formula they all look like settu paiyans placed in the middle of mariyamman thiruvizha , all vetti peter thamizh(Hey!I am getting pasi ya.Lets go to nair kadai and drink tea and eat porai typos) and they go about controlling the school and everyone quivers under the looks they shoot.

Our hero has given word(read traditional amma-mela satyam-The highest word-bound ever produced by Tamil cinema) that he wont be involved in any fights any more and hence satisfies himself by throwing the villains looks of utmost disgust and contempt(yeah the kind we kept throwing at the hero).Or I think that is what he was going for.He finally looked like a constipated dog torn between the desire to make and nibble at a bone.

Now if the hero was frolicking about in the hills Ooty our heroine can't be far away,can she?For some strange reason she keeps jumping from trees , speaking stuff that has no coherence and even people realized that coz they kept calling her loosu(local word for touched in the head)throughout the movie.And yeah the clueless Bombay-import type only.

Hero and heroine ore lovvus in parties and tree-houses where yaanai has managed to hide copious amounts of food.Heroine tries to etthi vittufy hero's gethu by keeping up the constant stream of encouragement and plans..

And now third twishttu...Heroine's anna is one among the villians.Now you might think of a 3.a.twist where anna is using his thangacchi(No offense to TR fans) to sabotage the hero.But no.Heroine hates her anna who keeps offering advice to his dad that she should be in a facility for the mentally challenged (Thambi inda advice ah nee directorkum,producerkum kudutrukalam)

Now hero stands against one of the gooja-jalras in the villians for some Vice-President(apdiye Indian national election maari oru build up vera) and our yaanai tirelessly works to make him win.Hero wins.Seniors fight.Oreeyyy nail-biting tensaaan.

When all this circus was going on ,suddenly a break was declared for 15 mins. Interval.We all rushed out akin to how students rush out of classes on Friday after the dismissal bell.We seriously considered not going back inside.But it was never in my book to leave a movie unfinished.I comforted myself saying "Vandachu,pathutrukom,mudichudalam".I kept saying this throughout the second half of the movie.

If the first half of the movie was like Mummy-3 then the second half was nothing lesser than Thiruppachi.And the director takes her revenge against the audience and how!Ummm..Ukkare mudile..

Seri second half begins with some treasure hunt like thing which I dont remember who won.(By this point I had stopped paying attention!The popcorn was over and I was massaging my head and checking my watch).I think it was the hero.

Something called "the Ring" was mentioned when I looked up hoping to see some Frodo like character holding the one ring which would add some dimension to the story I was yet again disappointed to see that it was a piece of land(very much in the shape of a sotta-maama's head)

where they amicable settled(read fought like street dogs) their differences.Sad;y I returned back to the massaging.

Suddenly,I heard some screams and looked up.The yaanai was forced into a toilet by the villians and he dies.And as per rule,someone had to remove their specs when the news was delivered.It is generally the doctor.(but inga lightcha twist )It was the school princi informing amma-yaanai and appa yaanai that their son had died due to cardiac-arrest.

Hero is crestfallen at the loss of his pet..Chi..Friend..Simbu's rendering of Manasellam starts playing in the background.Hero runs to heroine for some quality romance .But namma heroine is finally declared loosu and sent to Delhi for therapy.Hero is all Bhusss when one day, he hears from the seniors in the same bathroom(The circle!) that they killed the yaanai. Hero turns all red and time for revenge baby!

I was all happy that it would be over in a few seconds and so I decided to watch patiently.Suddenly the ear piercing scream was back on...

Nallavan evan ?

Kettavan evan?

Roshathukku porandhavan ivann...

which yanked the couple who were indulging in some quality romance behind us, apart.(enna power)

Hero makes a super plan.He lures the villians towards a forest.He burns one alive,beats one to death and engages in a fist fight with the third before pushing him into a pit finishing his chapter.Finally he gives us that look that we have very often seen in a lot of amman-movies .I heaved a sigh of relief and proceeded to get up when my friend pulled me back indicating that there was still some of the movie left.Grudgingly I sat back.Strangely nobody seemed to protest that I got up(If I were at a Rajini movie I am sure that few Bata shoes would have been flying at me for momentarily blocking the view of Thalaivar) .

There were two voices in my head now.

Voice1:Please polame..Mudile..Indha 2 mins le Oscar award performance aa kuduka poran avan?

Voice2:Ivlo neram irundachu wait panallame.Innum edavdu "Twist" varalam

Voice1:Thu.

As it turned out Voice 2 was right.There was a fourth twisshtu.

When the hero returns ,surprise(!) he finds his mommy dearest dead.

Hero runs towards an electric pole and bangs himself against it hoping to die(Uff!),when daddy dearest takes him away. The implied moral is Karma.Newton's 3rd law.

Atlast it being over we rushed out to hear someone commenting

"Macchan anda Director ellarayum potu thalirkaangle..Inorru 10 rs.ticket ku extra vaangitu hero vayum pottrunda santosha patrupenne"

(Friend,the director almost killed everyone.For one extra 10 Rs. which I would have gladly paid she could have killed that hero too).

He had reviewed the movie in just a sentence.

P.S-Thanks to Hari,Sangeetha,Madhu and Aishu who patiently endured this crap with me.

P.P.S-Ms/Mrs.Udeep-Naa Padam edukka vendam nu sollale , please edukare padatha ollunga edunga nu dhan solren.

I pity the producer.May his soul RIP ..Amen!

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Few Reasons why I would not make a good movie critic

1.I go to Satyam for the popcorn.

2.My all time favorite movie is Jeans.

3.I did not like Avatar.

4.I'd prefer It's a wonderful life to The GodFather any day.

5.I am still smitten by James Stewart and not only managed to sit through but also liked(!) The man who knew too much.

And finally the top reason-Once upon a time,long long ago, I was a fan of Vijay,Action king Arjun and Jayam Ravi....

Until the next one,

Gaya:)

If only...

There are many instances in life when you came close to something that you have always wished would happen but missed by inches...Or again would have happened but not quite the way you had expected..If only they have gone the way they should have....

If only...

To everyone their first crush is special..Most of them would have forgotten it but to those who did not...

It might probably have been on a teacher who was nice to you and made you the "Class Leader"(It was the highest honor those days you know ;) ) or may be on your next door neighbor who always gave you a chocolate/who played with you...

But the first real crush you have probably must have been when you were about 11-14....

Every one of us did believe in filmi-romances at some point or another..To guys it was always saving the damsel in distress..And to girls it was obviously the meet-your-prince charming-and-fall-in-love-at-first-sight....Sadly,as you grow up you realize all this almost never happens..And looking back it always makes you smile...

That somersault your stomach did every time you caught sight of him/her...those long hours you stood waiting for him/her....those butterflies flying randomly here and there...The adrenaline rush everytime he/she comes near you...The thousands of words that want to rush out ,yet are chewed back and somehow momentarily your tongue seems to be glued down with Fevicol(Though you have no idea how it manages to unstick itself when he/she has passed you)

and all those nights that you were lying in your bed staring at your ceiling as though it would split wide open and he/she would enter right through the gap....

Now go stand right in front of the mirror and watch the corners of your mouth crack into a smile and then.....

...Go right back to some useful work...Enough reminiscing now! :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

Villupuram Thaandi Varuvaaya?

He was ready to cross the skies for her.The very bat of her eyelid was a sign enough.But would she oblige?

Sounds like the tag line of a typical boy-meets-girl and they fall in love movie?All right,this is just corny shit..Yet again one mindless true love(!) story brought to you by one of the vetti-est persons in Chennai right now, who finds nothing better to do than stare at her system all day ..And Why?Just because it is there...(I must really be going crazy,right?)

Now,where were we?Ahh..yes...Boy-meets-girl...Our hero did meet our heroine yes...She did fall in love..But if only,she had..with him...

How long do we have to keep using X and Y?...Just plain frustrating right?Lets give them proper names...Hmmm...How about Akash and Nandhini?Sounds good?Right lets get a move on...

She was the kind of girl anyone would fall in love with.And when I say anyone,I stand by my statement.Anyone.The typical girl-next-door,yet,a pretty one too..The kind that you wished you lived near.

He was not bad either.The typical gregarious,jumpy,fun yet understanding kind he was(Mind you it was not overdone :) )

Reasons for calling this post Villupuram Thaandi Varuvaaya(Will you cross Villupuram for me?)

1)The similarities to Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya?(Will you cross the skies for me?)

*Akash's similarity to the protagonist Karthick.Namma hero is again forced into Engineering(To quote"Ennaku apovve theryum indha engineering lam velaiku aagadhunu"). His life's ambition is actually to cross the skies i.e, get his CPL and become a commercial pilot.Namma Karthick is from Namma Chennai..

*Nandhini's similarity to Jessie.The homely and sweet kind and yeah definitely confused as depicted in the movie

* The cheesy, corny dialogue exchanges between them.

2)Our Nandhini hails from Villupuram.Hence the name .Villupuram is a place in the interior of TamilNadu).And she did visit her Villupuram now and then...

Yet another typical college love story(Maybe I'll grow up someday but for now just let me be)

They did not fall in love at the first sight.There were no filmi dialogues or songs that played as they danced in the rain or around trees,yet the story is cheesy(atleast to those of us who are not very much the romantic kind)

The first time he saw her he felt the same things he had only read about or seen in movies.The kind of light hearted fluttery feeling which jerked him a few feet away from the ground,as though his body weight dropped a few kgs and lifted him up...He was almost instantly pulled back to reality when he heard his friend's voice next to him though it all seemed so far away now...It took him a couple of seconds to register the fact that he was the one being addressed..She seemed far away yet she seemed close enough too.He was puzzled as he tried his best to muster his concentration to listen to what his friend was saying.

Friend:So naa solitrunda maari...

Akash:Yes,machan,okay.

Friend:Okay va?Naa inum solliye mudikale..Kekariya illaya?

Akash:Kettutudhaanda irukken...

#Mind Voice#Talk about her..Talk about her..Talk about her..She is standing right in front of me..Talk about her...

Friend:So I think I like her da..

Akash:*concentration back on*Good for you da...*Trying to sound casual and pointing to her*Yaar machhan adhu?

Friend:Avala pathi dhaan ivlo neram solitrundhen..Avala dhan na love pannren.En figure macchaan.Propose panllam nu irukken...

Akash:#Horrified#Enna da sollre?

Friend:aama da..First day le irundu paathutruken.

Akash:Unakku set aagumnu nenaikriya?

Friend:Try panni dhan paapome..Friends encourage pannanaga so apdiye...

Akash:All the best da.

#Mind Voice#Enna Kodume sir Idhu?Vetti pasanga..Encouragement veraya?

A few days later-

The friend did propose and got turned down badly.Akash's hopes once again shot up.Some chance,some opening,something had to happen but alas.

Now Akash had a best friend.Lets call her ummm (oh what the heck?Return of the X) X...

Now our X was a very cute,patient,understanding type..and she had a nickname too..Love guru....Best at giving vetti-ideas and bulbu plans....

Akash and X were beshhhtuuu buddies...And as luck would have Akash's phone was under repair when one day...

Nandhini:Hey!Did you prepare for the test?

X:Edho...You?

Nandhini:Kodume only...Very bad.

X:Like Flunking level?Rock bottom?

Nandhini:Kinda..This is Akash's number right?

X:Erm..yeah..Why?

Nandhini:No..I called him yesterday but it was not reachable.

X:Oh.

Nandhini never called Akash again.

A year passed in which everyone came to know that Nandhini was in a very serious relationship(Everyone includes our Akash too) and again he had abandoned all hope when again....

Nandhini stopped attending classes.She became very irregular and in those rare occasions she was present also she was very distracted and very dull..

One day..

X:Oye!Extra pen hai?

Nandhini:*looking up* Whaat?

X:Pen..Pen..Extra pen...Hai tumhaare paas?

Nandhini:No..

X:What is up with you these days?You look like you wish that the ground would open up and swallow you these days.

Nandhini:I wish it did..

X:What is wrong with you?

Nandhini:Just some personal trouble..

X:Boyfriend trouble?Why fear when the love guru is here?

Nandhini:Its not like what you think..

X:You tell me what I should be thinking...

Nandhini:Well,its just that you know he is very paranoid..Always jealous,possessive...Keeps fighting with me always...I am so pissed..

X:Eh?So?Ditch him...

Nandhini:I cant do that..I've been in love with him for like 6 years.You know some days I even feel very suicidal..

X:#Horrified# Seriously get a grip man..Suicide eh?Thats just rubbish talk..Listen..Take my word and dump him...

Nandhini:*Sigh*You'll never understand

X:#Scornfully#Maybe I won't but I am not the one contemplating suicide here...

Almost a year passed since this conversation when one day...

Akash enters the class...Excited whispers...

Akash:Macchan,What's going on da?

Friends:Dont know da ..but something is wrong with Nandhini..

Akash:What?#Blood rising to cheeks#

Friend:Why are you this shocked da?

Akash:Nothing da..

That evening on the phone...

Akash:Hey what is wrong with Nandhini?

X:#Suspiciously#Why are you this concerned?

Akash:Classmate no...

X:oh...She attempted suicide...

Akash:#Gasping#Suicide eh?Why?

X:The nutcase boyfriend of hers dumped her..Thats why...

Akash:What a lame reason

X:Why ask me?Do I look like the one on the verge of death...

They did not see Nandhini until the year end.

The next year...

One very casual night time conversation...

10.40 pm

Akash:Ey...Whaddup?

X:Nothing much da..What you upto?

.

.

.

.

.

12.50

X:Yeah man these idiots are getting crazier by the day you know.

Akash:I know..Hey what do you think about Nandhini?

X:What is there to think about?She acted really stupid.If it were me I would have dumped him first..Bloody chauvinistic piece of crap he was...Deserves two slaps....

Akash:I don't mean this incident..Your general opinion you know?

X:Why are you this interested da?

Akash:Nothing ...Chumma I wanted to know

X:Erm Why are you acting strange all of a sudden?

Akash:Is it possible to get a straight answer out of you?

X:Provided you answer my questions...

Akash:You are so full of them.

X:I know :D

Akash:So?

X:So what?

Akash:What do you think of her?

X:Yeah yeah...She could have turned out well if not for that boyfriend of hers..They got back together now.

Akash:Oh

X:Why are you sighing?

Akash:I didnt.

X:You did..

Akash:Not important.

X:Eh?Whatever....

He was not ready to let anybody know.Not yet.Maybe somebody but definitely not now.He did not want to be ridiculed least of all by his best friend...

Few more months passed until in the September of 2009,

Akash:Oye!

X:Whaddup?

.

.

.

Akash:Listen what were discussing so seriously with Z during lunch?

X:Lunch eh?ummm errr I dont remember

Akash:You have the worst memory

X:I know :D

Akash:So completed you assignment?Get it to me tomorrow I want to copy it

X:Wait I am copying it from Z now only..

Akash:All right see you tomorrow.

X:Hey wait wait I think I remember.

Akash:Remember what?

X:Look who is talking about retention capacity.It is like coal calling the kettle black.Sarcasm Intended you know,in case you didnt get it.

Akash:I did get it.Dont try my patience.

X:All right All right..Just messing with you...Well seems that we would have to go through our class teacher everytime we want OD from hereon..*casually*and yeah also Nandhini broke up with that bloke yet again.

Akash:*sputters*What?

X:I know man.Sad.

Akash:Sad?What are you talking about?It is awesome.

X:What?We will never get OD again if it goes at this rate and given my record I am most likely to be debarred for lack of attendance.

Akash:Attendance?What are you talking about?

X:What were you talking about then?*Suspicion*

Akash:you know the other thing.

X:The other thing?

Akash:nandhini.

X:Oh that.Aeah What difference does it make da?In another two days she'll run back to him.

Akash:You think so?*Crestfallen*

X:Why does it bother you this much?

#A long pause#

X:Oye!There?

Akash:Because I like her.

X:like her as in?

Akash:I want to ask her out.

X:As in boy friend and girl friend?

Akash:Shabba...Tubelight...

X:Seri...Seri...But of all people why her?

Akash:Have I ever asked you that question?

X:Ermm sorry I didnt mean to be hypocritic.

Akash:Listen Can I ask you something?

X:What?

Akash:Can you help me?

X:What help?

Akash:I want to talk to her.I need a proper opening.

X:Give me sometime.Ill come up with an idea.

She did come up with an idea.A stupid idea.But surprisingly due to cupid and lady luck being jobless that particular day and in a particularly helpful mood things worked out in his favour.The idea clicked and they exchanged numbers.

What idea you ask?Very simple one.A mutual friend was made to call her and pretend as though Akash was near her and she asked Nandhini is she would like to talk to him.She did not object.They did talk.But the catch was that Akash was not anywhere near the mutual friend.What Nandhini never knew was that it was a conference call.

And then began the struggle.Once the introduction was over,Nandhini seemed very hesitant to talk.He felt like banging the phone on the wall half the time.All this effort going wasted.

Their conversations were filled with unspoken words.He so wanted to talk.He so wanted her to talk.There was no ice,it was an iceberg that had to be broken.

His days were spent in confusion and nights were spent in frustration.And so passed two months,until one day....

Akash:Hi...

Nandhini:*sob**sniff*hi..

Akash:What happened?

Nandhini:nothing..

Akash:Oh,come on..You can tell me..

Nandhini:Well I guess...I fought with him..

Akash:with who?

Nandhini:Yoou know himm...My boyfriend...

Akash:You mean you ex-boyfriend right?

Nandhini:Ex?no no Didnt I tell you?We are back together..

Akash: #Mind voice#Enna kodume Sir idhu.

Nandhini:What?

Akash:*Jerked back**Accusingly*No you didnt tell me..You never tell me things you know..

Nandhini:Sorry..

Akash:Thats okay...What does he want now?

Nandhini:Just the same..He is being paranoid again.

Akash:You know if you are not comfortable you should say so you know,break it off.Talk to him

Nandhini:Breaking up is not the solution.

Akash:Sometimes it is.*silently praying that she should be convinced*

Nandhini:Not always.Anyways Ill talk to him.Thanks for the advice.

She did talk to him and it put one major reverse gear which drove Akash up the wall.Yes,they got back together again.Akash abandoned all hopes,yet again.And as for therapy?He always had X.

Finally a new year dawned and he decided to let go of all this and decided to concentrate on something worthwhile when one encouragement booster arrived in the form of his friend/relative/whatever you call someone really close to you.

Now this friend was pretty hyperactive and believed that you'll never know what happens until you have done it.So go for it type aka Schrodinger's cat.Akash who was already on the verge of spilling the beans to her,occasionally held back by X,had reached his wits' end now.

He was yet again looking desperately for an opening to bring this up.He tried talking to her about her idea of love,ideal guy and other blah blah blahs but no,she would never hand it to him.Did she know and is she ignoring it purposefully or does she not understand at all?was the only question on his mind which was successfully driving him mad.

January slipped into February and along came Valentines day..What more an opening could he ask for?He mustered all the courage he had and finally decided to take the plunge.He dialled jher number slowly and put the receiver to his ears.One smooth female voice answered.

The subscriber you have called is busy.Please try again later.

Bhusssssssssss.His face deflated like a punctured tire.

He was not able to get in touch with her the whole day.So close,he thought.So close.

When the next day dawned he threw away all thoughts of ever telling her what was he was going through.He did not know if it was anger or frustration or disappointment or fear that overlapped him but then again he had made his decision.He was never going to call her again.That decided he leaped out of bed and put the past behind him.All was well for 2 days until ...

*Beep Beep*

Mom:Akash I think you're phone is ringing.

Akash:No ma just a message.

Mom:Check it na.Might be something important.

When he opened the message-

Nandhini:Hi I am sorry for not attending your call that day.Can you please call?.I am really upset and would like to talk to someone.please.

His hands automatically acted as though they were receiving orders from a distant voice.Yet it seemed as though the voice originated from his own brain.Seemed so distant yet so real and close.

As he dialed her number there were two voices that were crying the exact opposite.

Voice1:Common!Now is your chance..Act all nice..Maybe she'll fall for you.

Voice2:Oh..Dont listen to him.He means nothing but trouble...Think of what she has done so far.Dont embarass yourself.

Akash:Shut up both of you.

And she answered.

Akash:Hi..What happened?

Nandhini:Hi...Thanks for calling.Just wanted to talk to someone.

Akash:oh...tell me.

Nandhini:I was waiting that day for his call but he did not even give me a message.Sorry that I decided to show my frustration on you.

Akash:#losing his patience#

Oh so thats the reason is it not?When your pretty boyfriend turns his back on you I get the brunt..Else you are all happy with him and ignore me..Whats your deal?

Nandhini:But but...

Akash:DO NOT INTERRUPT ME.Understand?

Nandhini:*Meekly*Okay.

Akash:So I am somebody you call when you are pissed.I am not saying you should not.But dont use me like this.Either you ignore me or cry to me.What kind of relationship is this?

Nandhini:but thats what friends are supposed to be like right?

Akash:Not all the time.

Nandhini:Okay listen I am sorry.I had no idea that it would hurt you..I am really sorry...Please Please..Henceforth Ill try to be good..Are we good?

Akash:Eh whatever..

Nandhini:oh common..Smile na..please

Akash:*All smiles wonly :D* smiles.

Nandhini:now thats a good boy..

Akash:If you want to share something do that but lets have some fun too you know

Nandhini:Sure.so you know blah blah blah....

And on and on she went .Once started it was difficult to stop her.She told him about her childhood,likes,dislikes,friends,the on-off love story she had and slowly started recovering from her break up.Ofcourse it is needless to say that Akash talked her out of it.And people started noticing that something was going on between them.The lunch time conversations,gift exchanges and the class time chori-chori looks were a dead giveaway.Now the only question that remained was when he would pop the question.

May 22,2010

X:So how are things between you and Nandhini?

Akash:Couldn't ask for anything better.

X:So sema happy only you are?

Akash:No di..I havent asked her yet...

X:Asked her what?

Akash:To be my girlfriend.

X:so ask her...

Akash:Yeah but opening ?

X:enna chumma opening opening nu...? Go tell her da...

Akash:Yeah di...tonite is the night..

X:Good luck man :)

That night

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

May23 morning.

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

Afternoon

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:Choo #Disappointed#

Evening

X:Eyyyyyyyyyy....What happened?

Akash:not yet.

X:cha po...you text me after you have done it...

That night 2.43

Mobile message.X wakes up rubbing her eyes.

Akash:i did it I told her.

X:Eyy...super..What did she say?

Akash:She said she needed time

X:How much time?

Akash:That I didnt ask..

X:loosu..Seri Tell me when she replies.

Nandhini took her time..There were many times when she almost felt like this was a good idea and times when she felt this was a huge mistake because of her past experience.Times when she felt pressurized and times when she felt she did not want to make this decision.But fact remained that she had to give him an answer.When did not matter.What did.

Finally she made her decision.Right or wrong she was going to stick to it.She took her phone and fed in her answer and hit send.

At the other end,Akash was alerted to the receiving of a message by the tone.He looked at his mobile.

The screen said You have one new message.

He hit the open message button and gave a gasp.

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

How the chappathis crumbled in front of 11 idlis.True Story.

IPL 2010-8 teams.60 matches.45 days.

It wouldn't exactly be fair on my part if I call this the victory of an underdog...The coveted cup has eluded Chennai for long and finally here we are celebrating the rightful win...It has been one of the most consistent teams making past the selection matches everytime and now lifting the cup..Let me not bore you with statistics but we'll take a small detour 12B(English:Sliding doors) shhtyle.......

What if they had sent Pollard out first?What if Sachin's hit had not been caught?What if Rayudu had stayed in his place and not lost his wicket for a measly run?What if their maiden over had earned them 10 runs?

If the above were true we'd be listening to the gloats of Mumbai-kar's and for the matter a lot others who would have said Idhu thernjadhudhane?Mumbai dhan top.Obviously they have to win. But truth is,there is no obviously in cricket.There has never been,there never will be...You'll never know when a bowler'll smash boundaries or a world-class batsman will get out for a duck....

Anyway given the fact that we,Chennai-ties have been pretty gloat-y about the whole affair..Time to reveal our modest side and show them though we won they didn't give up without a good fight....

Finally-Namma chennaiku whistle podu!

P.S-Here are few interesting texts/FB status updates that I came across yest/today-

Chennai ku whistle podu...Mumbai Kaadhu-mela podu....

Given that we won, should we drown/cremate the MI s?

(Vijay shtyle) Dei Point table first irukradha romba aada koodathu..Kadasila finals la win pannanam.Naanga panitom.Goli adalam,kabaddi adalam Aanavathla mattum aada koodadhu.

Men in yellow (though) subtle ,

Unarguably proved their mettle,

They played in style,

Conquering all the while!

"Pooriku venum paani,1man army dhoni.

lion irukkura idam den,namme singam hayden.

ammaku opposite naina,best fielder raina.

Veg la gethu kathiri,middle order gethu badri.

Song mix panna dj,shots mix panna vijay.

DTS sound na dolby,alrounder na albie.

Ingiku english ginger,batsman ku yaman bollinger.

Bike la best Ducati,spin la best jakati.

Namma spinner aswin,avan pottale namme win!

Adra whistle!"

Cheers to Chennai!

Idli-Sambhar guys all the way! :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)

(Part II)A wedding.3 principle characters who received more importance than the bride and the groom ;).

Click Here to view Part I of the story

Where were we?Oh yeah! me holding my breath as I waited for my cousin's reply...

Me:So is he there?

Cousin:No...

Me:What? *crestfallen*

Cousin:Am kidding..Of course he is there...come fast...

Me:*gleefully*Am trying my best but the car won't go any faster...

Dad came back and there we started off to the mandapam again..Finally after what seemed like eternity we reached it.Only a flight of stairs were left between me and him and how I wished that instant that I could fly....

Anyway by the time we entered vradham was already over and there was me greeting all my relatives but stealing furtive glances to locate him.....My cousin came up to me and was all "Oh didnt you see him yet?"

#Burning smell#

Finally after shooting her few paavam-glances she pointed to a corner...And there he was all Pink and tall...

A million things rushed to my mind at the same instant and the first few stammer free words were

Me:Wow!We are wearing the same colour dress!

C:Eh? :O

Me:Look pink to pink!

C:Thu!Three months you wait and notice the dress color first..Waste di nee! And pink on a guy?You know we both are surprised but probably not in the same way...

Me:*Raised Eyebrow*

C:ok!Go talk to him

Me:How?

C:You already know him right?What could possibly happen?

Me:You a know a million things.Lemme give you a few examples

Scenario 1:

Me:Hi!Remember me?

Him:No

Bhusssss!!!

Scenario 2:

Me:Hi.Remember me?

Him:Yeah so?

Double Bhusss!!!

Scenario 3:

Me:Hi..Remember me?

him:yeah sure..Hey do you mind moving to your left.there's a really cute girl and you're blocking my view....

#Phat! Phat!!Heart cracks#

C:You're crazy..

Me:Okay I might have exaggerated on the last one seeing as there is absolutely no competition(Touch wood) but the others might be possible..

C:He seems nice...

Me:aeah!*Casual dismissing wave*

Mind voice:Hope he is!

Anyway this conversation and other work took up majority of the day and before we knew it was dusk and along with it came the jaanavaasam

Wedding

Day1-Evening Session-Jaanavaasam

The groom arrives in a procession(like the baarat,minus the elephant,horse and any other creature that looks half-dead) in a car(we use this chance to showcase our vintage vehicles which pump so much smoke that the recent Iceland volcanic ash is driven back into the hole with shame)complete with naathaswaram and giggling girls and the bride greets him..They then go to the temple to pray that things should go well according to plan.After this they come back into the mandapam for the nichyadhartham(solemnizing the wedding)...All the elders get together on the stage and read the pathrikai complete with the date,time and other details of the wedding...The bride is gifted a saree and groom miscellaneous bijoux...With the proceedings rehearsed such,what next but sumptuous food?

Back to our story

So yeah as the sun slowly slipped down the hills(Thats where I was taught it would go to,though high school proved otherwise..but who cares?We all stick to our creativity which in my case involves a complex process of the mountains and sea devouring the sun and releasing it the next morning)there were us the trio and him (again Pink to pink :D)....We staged various situations which would include him noticing,recognizing me and striking up a conversation and when sadly none helped(due to him being a very chamathu boy who wanted to help out all the time) I almost gave up.....Then I put on my goody-goody image and started helping out and had to walk past the bride's anna(who we were well acquainted with by now) who called me...

Me:Hi!Eppdi irrukell?(all fake iyer accent for showing off :D)

Anna:Fine.Nee?Admissionlam enna aachu?

Me:Nanna irukken.Admission kedachuduthu..College join panniten..

Anna:Oh Good Good.

(Suddenly oru cross talk)

Crosstalk:Good!

I was surprised and turned my head and he had spoken to me!!!!!!!!

Me:*Concealing glee* *Trying hard for a modest voice*Thanks!

Him:So how's college and all?

Me:Started now only..Idhu varaikum fine..

And so on and on went the nonsensical jabbering for 15 minutes after which I was elated....

And as a rule something came up and pulled me away.There is work to be done(Isn't there always?)

The groom arrived in his ottai car and was received by the bride's side...The ceremony proceeded and the nichyadartha-pathrigai was read out(It contains details like the date,time,star on the date of the wedding and the names and blah blah blah)...

And after one super day of wholesome fun I hit the bed and my eyes closed almost immediately .

Dawn followed midnight with almost indecent haste.

I was roughly shaken awake by mom and was in no mood to get out of those cozy covers..

Mom:Ey..Get up...Time aachu..

Me:Cha..po maa..Ipo dhan thoonginen..please inum konjamm neram..

Mom:Eppo?Kalyanam mudinjapram polama?Che Ezhundru..Somberi..Elarum poiduvaa..

That was the stimulant that awakened me.Sleepily I woke up and dressed in a pretty navy blue saree and decked myself with miscellaneous jewellery...

Day2-Early Morning session

The Pre- Muhurtham

A typical Iyer wedding's crux is the muhurtham...There are three muhurthams..The early morning one(4:30) the morning one (6:00) or the late one(9:00)..The procedures are all the same..

First there is the Kaasi Yaathrai where the groom has to pretend that he is not willing to get married and wants to go to Kaasi(Varanasi) and become a saint...The bride's father has to convince him with miscellaneous items(Umbrella,slippers,walking stick etc) and bring him back...

Next comes the Maalai Maatral.This is nothing short of a competition..The bride and groom are hosted on the shoulders of their respective relatives and they have to exchange garlands.Seems simple?Well,it is not..The catch is that they have to dodge each other and the team that manages to get all garlands in wins.There is a one to one too between the bride and the groom to test their prowess.

Next comes the Oonjal.This is the point where people start to get serious.Fun time being over,the bride and groom are made to sit on a swing set along with some half awake brat who keeps screaming or offering stupid comments while smiling sheepishly.There are coloured Laddoos which are used to ward of the evil eye.Each relative(only married ladies allowed)takes 4 laddoos and draws a circle in the air infront of the couple(laddoo still in hand) and throws each ladooo in each direction(north,south,east,west)..They then give the bride and groom some milk and a piece of banana..After this the Aarathi is taken.

Right after this they are escorted into the mandapam for the original serious rites to start .

Our story

Every typical Iyer wedding has lots of maamis running about decked in kaanjevaram sarees and tons of gold jewellery and ofcourse heavy makeup and heavy gossip are a part of the package,NRI s who just received their green cards and appointment order from Microsoft or Intel or Sun or Google or college graduates who have received their MS admission or those fat nerds in glasses who have just gotten into Anna University/BITS/IIT,kids from DAV,PSBB or those nerdy schools proudly brandishing their see-I-got-first-rank report cards on your face...If you do not fall into one of these categories then you are not in my family (:D) and will be treated with contemptuous looks from those proud moms whose sons/daughters have managed to do(Achieved)all these...

That said,it is only but natural that 90% of the characters in that hall belonged to one of the above categories.Fortunately or unfortunately he did not belong in them yet somehow he was going to be my family in the next few hours.Seemed strange yet exciting.

Now by the time I reached the mandapam I was my usual active self again.There was no time to look around for him as there were loads to be done.Yet,I did threw a furtive glance every now and then,hoping to spot him but alas he was no where to be seen.I heard someone call out my name.

I turned and there was my chittappa being convinced that it was okay to wear kaajal(you know pirates shhhttyyllee) since grooms traditionally did so during the ceremony.My cousin was fighting a losing battle and hence called me for added support.

Harish:Cheee podi.I wont wear all that.Thats' girly stuff

Cousin:Its okay.Just for few hours.

Paati:Dey enna da you are whining like a little kid.Common it'll be over in two seconds.Ey pottu vidu(She said this thrusting the box in my hand)

Me:Ey..Bend down..

Harish:no.

Me:Ey you are 6'1..I have to grow an extra leg to reach that height..Now be a good boy and bend down.Ill put it for you om shanthi om style.

Harish:Dont experiment on me.

Cousin:Common ...

Then came my maami.

Maami:Ey..Enna nadakardhu inga?

Me:Maai ittuka maatengra...Adam pidikra

Mammi:Cha ivlo dhaana?Idhuku ivlo sound...Dey bend da..

I dont known if it was the commanding presence or the bossy voice but he obliged.And when she was finished with him(two lightning strokes)he looked like an ape with black markings under his eyes.Yes,she had smeared it almost two cms think under the eye.

Me:Ha Ha Ha Ha.Naa apove sonnnen..ipo paaru .

Harish:cha po...

By the time the rites had started.He did go on the kaasi yaatrai andduring the maalai maatral the maamas and athimbers were literally declaring war on each other.The one on one got pretty exciting when Priya ran around the whole hall with Harish chasing her.At one point it looked as though they were playing lock and key rather than getting wedded.

Then came the oonjal and when it was finally done Harish looked sick.Common he was not in a zoo and definitely not supposed to be fed so much fruit and milk and the same goes for Priya too.But they did put on a brave face as they walked towards the stage.

Day2-Morning Session The Muhurtham

This is the official wedding.I am not very good at explaining this since it majorly involves chanting of a lot of mantras which I have no clue about.They light the holy fire ,hommam.The groom repeats after the shaastrigal all the mantras without having a clue as to what he is saying with pouring the ghee into the fire every now and then.Other maamis in the hall sip cup after cup of degree-kaapi or juice as they talk about the "interesting developments"(read gossip)since their last meet.The bride's father and mother throw everyone a look of utmost stress as her siblings walk here and there with tension overseeing the arrangements.

The groom's side well not so much.Kids running here and there shouting ,infants crying and naathaaswaaram are part of the package which contribute a very significant amount to successfully tearing the ear drums of the very few people left with sanity..

The bride arrives after sometime and she is gifted the koora-podavai(9 yards saree)which she changes into and she is made to sit on her father's lap and the sacred rope(thiru-maangalyalam) is tied around her neck by the groom as relatives and friends shower them with blessings,flowers and akshadai(the catch here is there people elder than the couple are giving the akshadai..The rest of us have to contend ourselves with shaking the couples' hands like a pump-set )

Next comes the ammi-midithal in which the foot of the bride is place on a stone and the groom adds the toe-rings to her feet(total submission :D) and then the couple have to lie through their teeth saying they can see Arundathi,a star,in broad daylight(Science does take a big blow there).

After this there are a few more rights and what next but lunch?

Our story..

Now where were we?Yes...after the successful oonjal the rites were going on.I hadn't quit my scan yet and suddenly there he was near the stage engaged in a deep conversation with his cousin.Again!Blue to blue..Seemed like one perfect sign,a signal indicating things were travelling in the right direction.I busied myself with the guests but did not forget to shoot him glances now and then.

But then, the main part of the muhurtham came along and even I was in no mood to look here and there as I watched Harish wed Priya.The look of contention on both their faces as they were declared husband and wife in some language was unmistakable.That was the second I understood that some words need not be translated.They just need not.Their meaning may not be understood and infact they need not be uttered at all,but you just understand the feeling their radiate.You understand their importance without them being told explicitly.Such probably was marital bliss.Probably I'll never understand or know this until the day I get married and watch that look my groom gives me.That look which is a mixture of pride and a sense of belonging to each other,how you become someone's better half ,share your whole life,dreams,thoughts,desires with them....You stop being one and coexist with each other.Two different people yet somehow they become one.The look on your dad's face when sees his daughter becoming a Mrs.someone.His face would be filled with a sense of achieving something yet a streak of sadness runs through it when he simultaneously realizes that you are no longer a Ms. and that from tomorrow you'll cease to take his name after yours and the salutation is replaced by Mrs. and so is your surname and initial.The same goes for your mom too.And your siblings will no longer have you around to play or fight with.Those night time conversations,rainy day gossip and squabbling over room boundaries and ownership of stuff all ceases .Yet somehow everyone is happy .

Such were the looks on all our faces.We were so happy for them.And as of us we had gained Priya.She was one of my best friends and now she was officially an insider.Family.That sense of elation of us all belonging together leaves me chasing after words to describe it.

All right yesh the senti stuff being over followed by superb lunch when Ms.Lakshmi Priya Sarma officially turned Mrs.Lakshmi Priya Harish thing started going awry thanks to a second cousin of mine.

Standing on the stairway,we were telling him(the second cousin)as to what was going on these days and he was laughing his head off.He asked us to point to the guy and we pointed to "him".He was sitting on the balcony engaging in a deep conversation with his cousin.

Suddenly (the second cousin)screamed"yaar avara?Blue shirt?" in a voice so loud enough that someone waiting to board a bus to Salem in the koyambedu bus terminus could have heard him.

Needlessly to say he was surprised and looked over his shoulder.We were literally paralyzed with shock.We wanted to get away,yet,our legs seemed to be rooted to the ground.Finally coming to our senses,I ducked down,my sister ran up the stairs and my cousin down the stairs(4 at a time) and there stood my second cousin laughing.Thankfully no damage was done.

Day2-Afternoon session-Nalangu.

This is nothing but a series of games.Pretty fun ones at that too.It starts innocently with the bride and groom sitting opposite each other surrounded by close family.Oh before that the bride has to invite the groom with a plate containing betel leaves,supari and bananas.(Yeah like we needed a special invite?:P but tradition you know).So yeah they sit down and have to comb each other's hair hold up a mirror to check that their respective hair shhytles have not been damaged(There was the wedding photographer who kept clicking away in the background .So unless you dont want the next 20 years to be teased around by your kids you need to be careful)

So yeah there begins the taunting each other that they have not combed properly and such.

Next is the paapad game.The bride takes two paapads and circles the air above the groom's head two times (to gove him a "Head"start ;) ) and breaks it on top of his head.Now the catch is that the groom has to duck away.If he does successfully then he gets a point else the point goes to the bride.We pick teams and cheer them.The same goes for the bride too when the groom gets his hands on the paapad.After all the paapad smashing next come the coconuts and we do not advocate murder by smashing them on heads :D.

The coconut game's rules are pretty simple.The bride can use both hands but the groom is supposed to use only one.(Women's equality?Ha,superiority :D )(the actual reason given is that men are stronger.Keep on believing it you poor deluded things as we bend rules in our favour ;) )

Yeah a coconut is given and one holds it while the other tries to snatch it withing a particular time frame.If successfully snatched a point else the other gets it.

There are few other games and at the end we all very well know who is the winner.

Our story.

There is pretty much nothing here.The maamas and maamis had finished their afternoon fiesta and few were still sleeping like logs and geared up for the game.He probably thought it was too girlie or something and was found no where near the area.So Entertainment factor was pretty much low.Anyway we did have a lot of fun as we cheered both on.And I think Priya won(I am not sure though).Harish for once did not argue(I very well remember the tiffs we had during our Scrabble games that involved him bullying us into lifting the Webster's dictionary and finally not being able to bear the weight of the damn thing we gave in everytime he said something was a new word and it did exist.Check the dictionary.)

Day2-Evening Session-Reception.

There is nothing much to tell.It is pretty much the same everywhere.Bride goes to the parlour and comes back unrecognizable and the groom is all white washed and they are forced to smile until their face muscles hurt and stand on the dias posing for pictures and receive gifts until their legs and hands beg them for mercy.

Our story

Well all the above happened and for once we forgot about other things as us the 3 sisters posed for lots and lots of pictures and gossiped around with friends and pulled each others' legs.After sometime the light music that was going on got pretty unbearable as we left to fill our stomachs with the dinner available.(Well the smell wafting from the kitchen did catch our attention too).We then left home to come back for the final rite that had to take place the next day.Tired yes definitely but super happy.

Day3-Morning Session-Kattu Saadha Koodai

This is a very old tradition that is not found in many Iyer weddings now.It is also one of the very few rites in which young girls get to participate.They are made to dissolve sprouts in damp mud in a tub of water and after are given variety rice.Traditionally after weddings the groom's side have to travel a long way to reach their village and hence the bride's side provide the food for the journey.The travel nowadays is not there but the tradition nevertheless continues.

Our Story.

Well we had come to the climax.It was the last few hours I was going to see him and I had no idea whether I would be able to muster the courage to go talk to him again.Except that accidental conversation on the day of the jaanavaasam nothing else had happened.As they called me to dissolve the sprouts I was a little dazed and dissolved them in such a hurry that caused the others to scream "enna di aachu unakku?".I regained my composure and smiled benignly.And finally all the rites were over and people were congratulating each other and the bride's father on how superb things went.

I turned to glance at himAh!Finally he was alone and no one was looking.I finally mustered my courage and tried to walk towards him when..

"Ey oru nimisham inga vaayen"

I turned.It was my mom.

Me:"enna maa?"

Mom:Car le idha kondu poi veyy.Micham elaam seriya irukka paaru.Edavydu miss pannitomaanu paaru.

Me:apprama vekkata?

Mom:Ippo enna vela unakku?

Me:Adhu vandu.... vandu..... Onnum ille ma

Mom:Pinne yenna?po..

I had no more excuses.I turned to go.I had missed my last chance.I walked towards the car to load the bags.He would have been surrounded with people again.

Finally all our cargo loaded I returned to the mandapam when my cousin came running towards me....

Cousin:ey ey ey

Me:Enna?

Cousin:He is leaving di..

Me:Why didnt you say so before?Where is he?

Cousin:Outside.Almost left.Go.Run

I ran down the steps five at a time.There he was bargaining with an auto driver almost 20 feet away.The stairs never seemed to end and it looked like they had reached a settlement and he loaded his bag into the auto.I had gotten almost 5 feet within the distance but then I realized I did not have anything to say to him.I didnt want to make a fool of myself and so I turned away.

Those 2days were one of the best and I never expected them to end and least of all not this way.I did not know what I had expected.All these thoughts filling my mind and disappointment weighing me down I slowly started climbing the steps again.I had barely placed my foot on the second step when..

Hey!

I turned with such a swing and speed that I just caught my balance in time else I would have fallen flat.There he was in front of me!!Speaking to me!

Him:Hi

Me:Hi...Kelambiyaacha?

Him:Ammam..Vellai iruku...Nice wedding..

Me:Yeah.Nanna Nadandudhu....

Him:So...

Me:So...

The auto driver chose this very second to test the range of his super new horn.

Him:oh I have to go now..

Me:Yeah...

Him:Bye then...Nice meeting you..All the best

Me:Likewise...bye...Wish you the same too...

We shook hands and I extracted mine from his hand and he let go too....He proceeded towards the auto and I turned and skipped up the stairs...I suddenly had a strange feeling ,a voice in my head that was asking me to turn.I was confused but nevertheless I heeded and I was not disappointed.

There he was looking at me and smiling .For how long?That I did not know.May be he saw me skipping in joy,or he had turned just then.I just did not know.I did not care either.

He waved goodbye and as I waved back I realized that all that was left were 2 days of memories that I wouldn't forget in my lifetime :)

Until the next one,

Gaya :)