Click Here to view Part I of the story
Where were we?Oh yeah! me holding my breath as I waited for my cousin's reply...
Me:So is he there?
Cousin:No...
Me:What? *crestfallen*
Cousin:Am kidding..Of course he is there...come fast...
Me:*gleefully*Am trying my best but the car won't go any faster...
Dad came back and there we started off to the mandapam again..Finally after what seemed like eternity we reached it.Only a flight of stairs were left between me and him and how I wished that instant that I could fly....
Anyway by the time we entered vradham was already over and there was me greeting all my relatives but stealing furtive glances to locate him.....My cousin came up to me and was all "Oh didnt you see him yet?"
#Burning smell#
Finally after shooting her few paavam-glances she pointed to a corner...And there he was all Pink and tall...
A million things rushed to my mind at the same instant and the first few stammer free words were
Me:Wow!We are wearing the same colour dress!
C:Eh? :O
Me:Look pink to pink!
C:Thu!Three months you wait and notice the dress color first..Waste di nee! And pink on a guy?You know we both are surprised but probably not in the same way...
Me:*Raised Eyebrow*
C:ok!Go talk to him
Me:How?
C:You already know him right?What could possibly happen?
Me:You a know a million things.Lemme give you a few examples
Scenario 1:
Me:Hi!Remember me?
Him:No
Bhusssss!!!
Scenario 2:
Me:Hi.Remember me?
Him:Yeah so?
Double Bhusss!!!
Scenario 3:
Me:Hi..Remember me?
him:yeah sure..Hey do you mind moving to your left.there's a really cute girl and you're blocking my view....
#Phat! Phat!!Heart cracks#
C:You're crazy..
Me:Okay I might have exaggerated on the last one seeing as there is absolutely no competition(Touch wood) but the others might be possible..
C:He seems nice...
Me:aeah!*Casual dismissing wave*
Mind voice:Hope he is!
Anyway this conversation and other work took up majority of the day and before we knew it was dusk and along with it came the jaanavaasam
Wedding
Day1-Evening Session-Jaanavaasam
The groom arrives in a procession(like the baarat,minus the elephant,horse and any other creature that looks half-dead) in a car(we use this chance to showcase our vintage vehicles which pump so much smoke that the recent Iceland volcanic ash is driven back into the hole with shame)complete with naathaswaram and giggling girls and the bride greets him..They then go to the temple to pray that things should go well according to plan.After this they come back into the mandapam for the nichyadhartham(solemnizing the wedding)...All the elders get together on the stage and read the pathrikai complete with the date,time and other details of the wedding...The bride is gifted a saree and groom miscellaneous bijoux...With the proceedings rehearsed such,what next but sumptuous food?
Back to our story
So yeah as the sun slowly slipped down the hills(Thats where I was taught it would go to,though high school proved otherwise..but who cares?We all stick to our creativity which in my case involves a complex process of the mountains and sea devouring the sun and releasing it the next morning)there were us the trio and him (again Pink to pink :D)....We staged various situations which would include him noticing,recognizing me and striking up a conversation and when sadly none helped(due to him being a very chamathu boy who wanted to help out all the time) I almost gave up.....Then I put on my goody-goody image and started helping out and had to walk past the bride's anna(who we were well acquainted with by now) who called me...
Me:Hi!Eppdi irrukell?(all fake iyer accent for showing off :D)
Anna:Fine.Nee?Admissionlam enna aachu?
Me:Nanna irukken.Admission kedachuduthu..College join panniten..
Anna:Oh Good Good.
(Suddenly oru cross talk)
Crosstalk:Good!
I was surprised and turned my head and he had spoken to me!!!!!!!!
Me:*Concealing glee* *Trying hard for a modest voice*Thanks!
Him:So how's college and all?
Me:Started now only..Idhu varaikum fine..
And so on and on went the nonsensical jabbering for 15 minutes after which I was elated....
And as a rule something came up and pulled me away.There is work to be done(Isn't there always?)
The groom arrived in his ottai car and was received by the bride's side...The ceremony proceeded and the nichyadartha-pathrigai was read out(It contains details like the date,time,star on the date of the wedding and the names and blah blah blah)...
And after one super day of wholesome fun I hit the bed and my eyes closed almost immediately .
Dawn followed midnight with almost indecent haste.
I was roughly shaken awake by mom and was in no mood to get out of those cozy covers..
Mom:Ey..Get up...Time aachu..
Me:Cha..po maa..Ipo dhan thoonginen..please inum konjamm neram..
Mom:Eppo?Kalyanam mudinjapram polama?Che Ezhundru..Somberi..Elarum poiduvaa..
That was the stimulant that awakened me.Sleepily I woke up and dressed in a pretty navy blue saree and decked myself with miscellaneous jewellery...
Day2-Early Morning session
The Pre- Muhurtham
A typical Iyer wedding's crux is the muhurtham...There are three muhurthams..The early morning one(4:30) the morning one (6:00) or the late one(9:00)..The procedures are all the same..
First there is the Kaasi Yaathrai where the groom has to pretend that he is not willing to get married and wants to go to Kaasi(Varanasi) and become a saint...The bride's father has to convince him with miscellaneous items(Umbrella,slippers,walking stick etc) and bring him back...
Next comes the Maalai Maatral.This is nothing short of a competition..The bride and groom are hosted on the shoulders of their respective relatives and they have to exchange garlands.Seems simple?Well,it is not..The catch is that they have to dodge each other and the team that manages to get all garlands in wins.There is a one to one too between the bride and the groom to test their prowess.
Next comes the Oonjal.This is the point where people start to get serious.Fun time being over,the bride and groom are made to sit on a swing set along with some half awake brat who keeps screaming or offering stupid comments while smiling sheepishly.There are coloured Laddoos which are used to ward of the evil eye.Each relative(only married ladies allowed)takes 4 laddoos and draws a circle in the air infront of the couple(laddoo still in hand) and throws each ladooo in each direction(north,south,east,west)..They then give the bride and groom some milk and a piece of banana..After this the Aarathi is taken.
Right after this they are escorted into the mandapam for the original serious rites to start .
Our story
Every typical Iyer wedding has lots of maamis running about decked in kaanjevaram sarees and tons of gold jewellery and ofcourse heavy makeup and heavy gossip are a part of the package,NRI s who just received their green cards and appointment order from Microsoft or Intel or Sun or Google or college graduates who have received their MS admission or those fat nerds in glasses who have just gotten into Anna University/BITS/IIT,kids from DAV,PSBB or those nerdy schools proudly brandishing their see-I-got-first-rank report cards on your face...If you do not fall into one of these categories then you are not in my family (:D) and will be treated with contemptuous looks from those proud moms whose sons/daughters have managed to do(Achieved)all these...
That said,it is only but natural that 90% of the characters in that hall belonged to one of the above categories.Fortunately or unfortunately he did not belong in them yet somehow he was going to be my family in the next few hours.Seemed strange yet exciting.
Now by the time I reached the mandapam I was my usual active self again.There was no time to look around for him as there were loads to be done.Yet,I did threw a furtive glance every now and then,hoping to spot him but alas he was no where to be seen.I heard someone call out my name.
I turned and there was my chittappa being convinced that it was okay to wear kaajal(you know pirates shhhttyyllee) since grooms traditionally did so during the ceremony.My cousin was fighting a losing battle and hence called me for added support.
Harish:Cheee podi.I wont wear all that.Thats' girly stuff
Cousin:Its okay.Just for few hours.
Paati:Dey enna da you are whining like a little kid.Common it'll be over in two seconds.Ey pottu vidu(She said this thrusting the box in my hand)
Me:Ey..Bend down..
Harish:no.
Me:Ey you are 6'1..I have to grow an extra leg to reach that height..Now be a good boy and bend down.Ill put it for you om shanthi om style.
Harish:Dont experiment on me.
Cousin:Common ...
Then came my maami.
Maami:Ey..Enna nadakardhu inga?
Me:Maai ittuka maatengra...Adam pidikra
Mammi:Cha ivlo dhaana?Idhuku ivlo sound...Dey bend da..
I dont known if it was the commanding presence or the bossy voice but he obliged.And when she was finished with him(two lightning strokes)he looked like an ape with black markings under his eyes.Yes,she had smeared it almost two cms think under the eye.
Me:Ha Ha Ha Ha.Naa apove sonnnen..ipo paaru .
Harish:cha po...
By the time the rites had started.He did go on the kaasi yaatrai andduring the maalai maatral the maamas and athimbers were literally declaring war on each other.The one on one got pretty exciting when Priya ran around the whole hall with Harish chasing her.At one point it looked as though they were playing lock and key rather than getting wedded.
Then came the oonjal and when it was finally done Harish looked sick.Common he was not in a zoo and definitely not supposed to be fed so much fruit and milk and the same goes for Priya too.But they did put on a brave face as they walked towards the stage.
Day2-Morning Session The Muhurtham
This is the official wedding.I am not very good at explaining this since it majorly involves chanting of a lot of mantras which I have no clue about.They light the holy fire ,hommam.The groom repeats after the shaastrigal all the mantras without having a clue as to what he is saying with pouring the ghee into the fire every now and then.Other maamis in the hall sip cup after cup of degree-kaapi or juice as they talk about the "interesting developments"(read gossip)since their last meet.The bride's father and mother throw everyone a look of utmost stress as her siblings walk here and there with tension overseeing the arrangements.
The groom's side well not so much.Kids running here and there shouting ,infants crying and naathaaswaaram are part of the package which contribute a very significant amount to successfully tearing the ear drums of the very few people left with sanity..
The bride arrives after sometime and she is gifted the koora-podavai(9 yards saree)which she changes into and she is made to sit on her father's lap and the sacred rope(thiru-maangalyalam) is tied around her neck by the groom as relatives and friends shower them with blessings,flowers and akshadai(the catch here is there people elder than the couple are giving the akshadai..The rest of us have to contend ourselves with shaking the couples' hands like a pump-set )
Next comes the ammi-midithal in which the foot of the bride is place on a stone and the groom adds the toe-rings to her feet(total submission :D) and then the couple have to lie through their teeth saying they can see Arundathi,a star,in broad daylight(Science does take a big blow there).
After this there are a few more rights and what next but lunch?
Our story..
Now where were we?Yes...after the successful oonjal the rites were going on.I hadn't quit my scan yet and suddenly there he was near the stage engaged in a deep conversation with his cousin.Again!Blue to blue..Seemed like one perfect sign,a signal indicating things were travelling in the right direction.I busied myself with the guests but did not forget to shoot him glances now and then.
But then, the main part of the muhurtham came along and even I was in no mood to look here and there as I watched Harish wed Priya.The look of contention on both their faces as they were declared husband and wife in some language was unmistakable.That was the second I understood that some words need not be translated.They just need not.Their meaning may not be understood and infact they need not be uttered at all,but you just understand the feeling their radiate.You understand their importance without them being told explicitly.Such probably was marital bliss.Probably I'll never understand or know this until the day I get married and watch that look my groom gives me.That look which is a mixture of pride and a sense of belonging to each other,how you become someone's better half ,share your whole life,dreams,thoughts,desires with them....You stop being one and coexist with each other.Two different people yet somehow they become one.The look on your dad's face when sees his daughter becoming a Mrs.someone.His face would be filled with a sense of achieving something yet a streak of sadness runs through it when he simultaneously realizes that you are no longer a Ms. and that from tomorrow you'll cease to take his name after yours and the salutation is replaced by Mrs. and so is your surname and initial.The same goes for your mom too.And your siblings will no longer have you around to play or fight with.Those night time conversations,rainy day gossip and squabbling over room boundaries and ownership of stuff all ceases .Yet somehow everyone is happy .
Such were the looks on all our faces.We were so happy for them.And as of us we had gained Priya.She was one of my best friends and now she was officially an insider.Family.That sense of elation of us all belonging together leaves me chasing after words to describe it.
All right yesh the senti stuff being over followed by superb lunch when Ms.Lakshmi Priya Sarma officially turned Mrs.Lakshmi Priya Harish thing started going awry thanks to a second cousin of mine.
Standing on the stairway,we were telling him(the second cousin)as to what was going on these days and he was laughing his head off.He asked us to point to the guy and we pointed to "him".He was sitting on the balcony engaging in a deep conversation with his cousin.
Suddenly (the second cousin)screamed"yaar avara?Blue shirt?" in a voice so loud enough that someone waiting to board a bus to Salem in the koyambedu bus terminus could have heard him.
Needlessly to say he was surprised and looked over his shoulder.We were literally paralyzed with shock.We wanted to get away,yet,our legs seemed to be rooted to the ground.Finally coming to our senses,I ducked down,my sister ran up the stairs and my cousin down the stairs(4 at a time) and there stood my second cousin laughing.Thankfully no damage was done.
Day2-Afternoon session-Nalangu.
This is nothing but a series of games.Pretty fun ones at that too.It starts innocently with the bride and groom sitting opposite each other surrounded by close family.Oh before that the bride has to invite the groom with a plate containing betel leaves,supari and bananas.(Yeah like we needed a special invite?:P but tradition you know).So yeah they sit down and have to comb each other's hair hold up a mirror to check that their respective hair shhytles have not been damaged(There was the wedding photographer who kept clicking away in the background .So unless you dont want the next 20 years to be teased around by your kids you need to be careful)
So yeah there begins the taunting each other that they have not combed properly and such.
Next is the paapad game.The bride takes two paapads and circles the air above the groom's head two times (to gove him a "Head"start ;) ) and breaks it on top of his head.Now the catch is that the groom has to duck away.If he does successfully then he gets a point else the point goes to the bride.We pick teams and cheer them.The same goes for the bride too when the groom gets his hands on the paapad.After all the paapad smashing next come the coconuts and we do not advocate murder by smashing them on heads :D.
The coconut game's rules are pretty simple.The bride can use both hands but the groom is supposed to use only one.(Women's equality?Ha,superiority :D )(the actual reason given is that men are stronger.Keep on believing it you poor deluded things as we bend rules in our favour ;) )
Yeah a coconut is given and one holds it while the other tries to snatch it withing a particular time frame.If successfully snatched a point else the other gets it.
There are few other games and at the end we all very well know who is the winner.
Our story.
There is pretty much nothing here.The maamas and maamis had finished their afternoon fiesta and few were still sleeping like logs and geared up for the game.He probably thought it was too girlie or something and was found no where near the area.So Entertainment factor was pretty much low.Anyway we did have a lot of fun as we cheered both on.And I think Priya won(I am not sure though).Harish for once did not argue(I very well remember the tiffs we had during our Scrabble games that involved him bullying us into lifting the Webster's dictionary and finally not being able to bear the weight of the damn thing we gave in everytime he said something was a new word and it did exist.Check the dictionary.)
Day2-Evening Session-Reception.
There is nothing much to tell.It is pretty much the same everywhere.Bride goes to the parlour and comes back unrecognizable and the groom is all white washed and they are forced to smile until their face muscles hurt and stand on the dias posing for pictures and receive gifts until their legs and hands beg them for mercy.
Our story
Well all the above happened and for once we forgot about other things as us the 3 sisters posed for lots and lots of pictures and gossiped around with friends and pulled each others' legs.After sometime the light music that was going on got pretty unbearable as we left to fill our stomachs with the dinner available.(Well the smell wafting from the kitchen did catch our attention too).We then left home to come back for the final rite that had to take place the next day.Tired yes definitely but super happy.
Day3-Morning Session-Kattu Saadha Koodai
This is a very old tradition that is not found in many Iyer weddings now.It is also one of the very few rites in which young girls get to participate.They are made to dissolve sprouts in damp mud in a tub of water and after are given variety rice.Traditionally after weddings the groom's side have to travel a long way to reach their village and hence the bride's side provide the food for the journey.The travel nowadays is not there but the tradition nevertheless continues.
Our Story.
Well we had come to the climax.It was the last few hours I was going to see him and I had no idea whether I would be able to muster the courage to go talk to him again.Except that accidental conversation on the day of the jaanavaasam nothing else had happened.As they called me to dissolve the sprouts I was a little dazed and dissolved them in such a hurry that caused the others to scream "enna di aachu unakku?".I regained my composure and smiled benignly.And finally all the rites were over and people were congratulating each other and the bride's father on how superb things went.
I turned to glance at himAh!Finally he was alone and no one was looking.I finally mustered my courage and tried to walk towards him when..
"Ey oru nimisham inga vaayen"
I turned.It was my mom.
Me:"enna maa?"
Mom:Car le idha kondu poi veyy.Micham elaam seriya irukka paaru.Edavydu miss pannitomaanu paaru.
Me:apprama vekkata?
Mom:Ippo enna vela unakku?
Me:Adhu vandu.... vandu..... Onnum ille ma
Mom:Pinne yenna?po..
I had no more excuses.I turned to go.I had missed my last chance.I walked towards the car to load the bags.He would have been surrounded with people again.
Finally all our cargo loaded I returned to the mandapam when my cousin came running towards me....
Cousin:ey ey ey
Me:Enna?
Cousin:He is leaving di..
Me:Why didnt you say so before?Where is he?
Cousin:Outside.Almost left.Go.Run
I ran down the steps five at a time.There he was bargaining with an auto driver almost 20 feet away.The stairs never seemed to end and it looked like they had reached a settlement and he loaded his bag into the auto.I had gotten almost 5 feet within the distance but then I realized I did not have anything to say to him.I didnt want to make a fool of myself and so I turned away.
Those 2days were one of the best and I never expected them to end and least of all not this way.I did not know what I had expected.All these thoughts filling my mind and disappointment weighing me down I slowly started climbing the steps again.I had barely placed my foot on the second step when..
Hey!
I turned with such a swing and speed that I just caught my balance in time else I would have fallen flat.There he was in front of me!!Speaking to me!
Him:Hi
Me:Hi...Kelambiyaacha?
Him:Ammam..Vellai iruku...Nice wedding..
Me:Yeah.Nanna Nadandudhu....
Him:So...
Me:So...
The auto driver chose this very second to test the range of his super new horn.
Him:oh I have to go now..
Me:Yeah...
Him:Bye then...Nice meeting you..All the best
Me:Likewise...bye...Wish you the same too...
We shook hands and I extracted mine from his hand and he let go too....He proceeded towards the auto and I turned and skipped up the stairs...I suddenly had a strange feeling ,a voice in my head that was asking me to turn.I was confused but nevertheless I heeded and I was not disappointed.
There he was looking at me and smiling .For how long?That I did not know.May be he saw me skipping in joy,or he had turned just then.I just did not know.I did not care either.
He waved goodbye and as I waved back I realized that all that was left were 2 days of memories that I wouldn't forget in my lifetime :)
Until the next one,
Gaya :)
